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The author of the recovery mainstay 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. The author of the recovery mainstay 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. Whether it's called "dry drunk" or "white knuckle sobriety," it's that stage in recovery when we realize that "putting the plug in the jug" isn't enough. The next step is taking responsibility for the emotional immaturity that fuels our addictive personality and has a tremendous impact on ourselves and others. Allen Berger, Ph.D., draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer twelve hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include:understanding who you are and what's important to youlearning not to take others' reactions personallytrusting your inner compasstaking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situationsIt is in these practices that we find release from what Bill W. described as an "absolute dependency" on people or circumstances, and develop the tools to find prestige, security, and belonging within.
Book Synopsis 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery & 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze an by : Allen Berger
Download or read book 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery & 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze an written by Allen Berger and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-11-17 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of the recovery mainstay 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. The author of the recovery mainstay 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. Whether it's called "dry drunk" or "white knuckle sobriety," it's that stage in recovery when we realize that "putting the plug in the jug" isn't enough. The next step is taking responsibility for the emotional immaturity that fuels our addictive personality and has a tremendous impact on ourselves and others. Allen Berger, Ph.D., draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer twelve hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include:understanding who you are and what's important to youlearning not to take others' reactions personallytrusting your inner compasstaking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situationsIt is in these practices that we find release from what Bill W. described as an "absolute dependency" on people or circumstances, and develop the tools to find prestige, security, and belonging within.
Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends
Book Synopsis 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends by : Allen Berger
Download or read book 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends written by Allen Berger and published by Hazelden Publishing. This book was released on 2013-05-28 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends
In addition to staying connected to our support systems and avoiding opportunities to use during the coronavirus pandemic, we can also keep confronting and conquering the self-destructive things we think and do that undercut our health and sanity. Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness. To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.
Book Synopsis 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery by : Allen Berger
Download or read book 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery written by Allen Berger and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-06-03 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In addition to staying connected to our support systems and avoiding opportunities to use during the coronavirus pandemic, we can also keep confronting and conquering the self-destructive things we think and do that undercut our health and sanity. Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness. To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.
Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery. This book gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards. Recovery from addiction is often compared to a journey where you meet new people, rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit, and learn new things about yourself that give you hope for the future. But like all journeys, there are also pitfalls that can jeopardize your sobriety. With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that can sabotage their sobriety. In this sequel, Allen gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards as you make your trek along “the Road of Happy Destiny.”
Book Synopsis 12 More Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery by : Allen Berger
Download or read book 12 More Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery written by Allen Berger and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-06-14 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards you may encounter on your path to long-term recovery. This book gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards. Recovery from addiction is often compared to a journey where you meet new people, rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit, and learn new things about yourself that give you hope for the future. But like all journeys, there are also pitfalls that can jeopardize your sobriety. With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that can sabotage their sobriety. In this sequel, Allen gives you the tools you need to work through twelve pitfalls that you are likely to encounter on your path to long-term recovery. Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will equip you to overcome some of the most common relapse hazards as you make your trek along “the Road of Happy Destiny.”
Stop the Chaos is a practical guide that identifies the telltale signs of addiction, offers suggestions for living alcohol- or drug-free, and teaches the skills necessary for healthy living Stop the Chaos, a comprehensive, practical guide, identifies the telltale signs of addiction, offers suggestions for living alcohol-or drug-free, and teaches the skills neccessary for healthy thinking and living.
Book Synopsis Stop the Chaos Workbook by : Allen A Tighe
Download or read book Stop the Chaos Workbook written by Allen A Tighe and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-08-05 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stop the Chaos is a practical guide that identifies the telltale signs of addiction, offers suggestions for living alcohol- or drug-free, and teaches the skills necessary for healthy living Stop the Chaos, a comprehensive, practical guide, identifies the telltale signs of addiction, offers suggestions for living alcohol-or drug-free, and teaches the skills neccessary for healthy thinking and living.
Book Synopsis Compassion and Self-hate by : Theodore Isaac Rubin
Download or read book Compassion and Self-hate written by Theodore Isaac Rubin and published by . This book was released on 1975 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
No matter what happens, you don't have to pick up a drink or drug today." These words tend to strike fear in the hearts of many alcoholics and addicts who are new to recovery, because just one day without booze or drugs may as well be an eternity. It can seem like an impossible task to get through twenty-four hours, never mind a week or a month - so just how do we get that proverbial monkey off our back? This book is full of suggestions that can work for anyone who is new to recovery or trying to get clean and sober again. The author has drawn on her own experiences and that of others in early recovery to determine the 'Fifty Things Every Alcoholic and Addict Should Know, ' including: The First Thirty Days - What to expect and how to get through it Things to Avoid - Protecting your recovery and coping with stress Relapse - Warning signs and moving forward if it happens Family - How to include them and re-build relationship Dating in Recovery - The not so good, the bad and the ugly Dry Drunk - How not to be one Twelve Step Programs - How they work and what you should know "If you have a substance abuse problem and want to quit or are new to sobriety and don't know what to expect, read this book. It's different, down to earth and a very easy read. 'Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down is not your typical recovery book". - Tom Chenault, Radio Talk Show Host and Recovering Alcoholic.
Book Synopsis Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down by : Georgia W.
Download or read book Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down written by Georgia W. and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No matter what happens, you don't have to pick up a drink or drug today." These words tend to strike fear in the hearts of many alcoholics and addicts who are new to recovery, because just one day without booze or drugs may as well be an eternity. It can seem like an impossible task to get through twenty-four hours, never mind a week or a month - so just how do we get that proverbial monkey off our back? This book is full of suggestions that can work for anyone who is new to recovery or trying to get clean and sober again. The author has drawn on her own experiences and that of others in early recovery to determine the 'Fifty Things Every Alcoholic and Addict Should Know, ' including: The First Thirty Days - What to expect and how to get through it Things to Avoid - Protecting your recovery and coping with stress Relapse - Warning signs and moving forward if it happens Family - How to include them and re-build relationship Dating in Recovery - The not so good, the bad and the ugly Dry Drunk - How not to be one Twelve Step Programs - How they work and what you should know "If you have a substance abuse problem and want to quit or are new to sobriety and don't know what to expect, read this book. It's different, down to earth and a very easy read. 'Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down is not your typical recovery book". - Tom Chenault, Radio Talk Show Host and Recovering Alcoholic.
A guide to all kinds of addiction from a star who has struggled with heroin, alcohol, sex, fame, food and eBay, that will help addicts and their loved ones make the first steps into recovery “This manual for self-realization comes not from a mountain but from the mud...My qualification is not that I am better than you but I am worse.” —Russell Brand With a rare mix of honesty, humor, and compassion, comedian and movie star Russell Brand mines his own wild story and shares the advice and wisdom he has gained through his fourteen years of recovery. Brand speaks to those suffering along the full spectrum of addiction—from drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and sugar addictions to addictions to work, stress, bad relationships, digital media, and fame. Brand understands that addiction can take many shapes and sizes and how the process of staying clean, sane, and unhooked is a daily activity. He believes that the question is not “Why are you addicted?” but "What pain is your addiction masking? Why are you running—into the wrong job, the wrong life, the wrong person’s arms?" Russell has been in all the twelve-step fellowships going, he’s started his own men’s group, he’s a therapy regular and a practiced yogi—and while he’s worked on this material as part of his comedy and previous bestsellers, he’s never before shared the tools that really took him out of it, that keep him clean and clear. Here he provides not only a recovery plan, but an attempt to make sense of the ailing world.
Book Synopsis Recovery by : Russell Brand
Download or read book Recovery written by Russell Brand and published by Henry Holt and Company. This book was released on 2017-10-03 with total page 287 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide to all kinds of addiction from a star who has struggled with heroin, alcohol, sex, fame, food and eBay, that will help addicts and their loved ones make the first steps into recovery “This manual for self-realization comes not from a mountain but from the mud...My qualification is not that I am better than you but I am worse.” —Russell Brand With a rare mix of honesty, humor, and compassion, comedian and movie star Russell Brand mines his own wild story and shares the advice and wisdom he has gained through his fourteen years of recovery. Brand speaks to those suffering along the full spectrum of addiction—from drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and sugar addictions to addictions to work, stress, bad relationships, digital media, and fame. Brand understands that addiction can take many shapes and sizes and how the process of staying clean, sane, and unhooked is a daily activity. He believes that the question is not “Why are you addicted?” but "What pain is your addiction masking? Why are you running—into the wrong job, the wrong life, the wrong person’s arms?" Russell has been in all the twelve-step fellowships going, he’s started his own men’s group, he’s a therapy regular and a practiced yogi—and while he’s worked on this material as part of his comedy and previous bestsellers, he’s never before shared the tools that really took him out of it, that keep him clean and clear. Here he provides not only a recovery plan, but an attempt to make sense of the ailing world.
“A classic. Read it. Use it. It can help guide you step by step into the bright light of the world of recovery.” —from the Foreword by Harry Haroutunian, M.D., Physician Director, Betty Ford Center “The Recovery Book is the Bible of recovery. Everything you need to know you will find in here.” —Neil Scott, host, Recovery Coast to Coast radio Hope, support, and a clear road map for people with drug or alcohol addiction. Announcing a completely revised and updated second edition of The Recovery Book, the Bible of addiction recovery. The Recovery Book provides a direct and easy-to-follow road map to every step in the recovery process, from the momentous decision to quit to the emotional, physical, and spiritual issues that arise along the way. Its comprehensive and effective advice speaks to people with addiction, their loved ones, and addiction professionals who need a proven, trusted resource and a supportive voice. The new edition of The Recovery Book features the revolutionary Recovery Zone System, which divides a life in recovery into three chronological zones and provides guidance on exactly what to do in each zone. First is the Red Zone, where the reader is encouraged to stop everything, activate their recovery and save their life. Next is the Yellow Zone, where the reader can begin to rebuild a life that was torn apart by addiction. Finally, the reader reaches the Green Zone, where he can enjoy a life a recovery and help others. Readers also learn how to use the Recovery Zone ReCheck, a simple, yet very effective relapse prevention tool. The Recovery Zone System works hand-in-hand with the 12-step philosophy and all other recovery methods. In addition, The Recovery Book covers new knowledge about addiction mechanisms and neuroplasticity, explaining how alcohol and drugs alter the brain. The authors outline a simple daily practice, called TAMERS, that helps people to use those same processes to “remold their brains” around recovery, eventually making sobriety a routine way of life. Written by Al J. Mooney, M.D., a recovery activist who speaks internationally on recovery, and health journalists Catherine Dold and Howard Eisenberg, The Recovery Book covers all the latest in addiction science and recovery methods. In 26 chapters and over 600 pages, The Recovery Book tackles issues such as: Committing to Recovery: Identifying and accepting the problem; deciding to get sober. Treatment Options: Extensive information on all current options, and how to choose a program. AA and other 12-Step Fellowships: How to get involved in a mutual-support group and what it can do for you. Addiction Science and Neuroplasticity: How alcohol and drugs alter pathways in the brain, and how to use the same processes to remold the brain around recovery. Relapse Prevention: The Recovery Zone ReCheck, a simple new technique to anticipate and avoid relapses. Rebuilding Your Life: How to handle relationships, socializing, work, education, and finances. Physical and Mental Health: Tips for getting healthy; how to handle common ailments. Pain Control: How to deal with pain in recovery; how to avoid a relapse if you need pain control for surgery or emergency care. Family and Friends: How you can help a loved one with addiction, and how you can help yourself. Raising Substance-Free Kids: How to “addiction-proof” your child. The Epidemic of Prescription Drugs: Now a bigger problem than illegal drugs. Dr. Al J. Mooney has been helping alcoholics and addicts get their lives back for more than thirty years, using both his professional and personal experiences at his family’s treatment center, Willingway, and most recently through his work as medical director for The Healing Place of Wake County (NC), a homeless shelter. The Recovery Book will help millions gain control of their mind, their body, their life, and their happiness. www.TheRecoveryBook.com
Book Synopsis The Recovery Book by : Al J. Mooney
Download or read book The Recovery Book written by Al J. Mooney and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 625 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “A classic. Read it. Use it. It can help guide you step by step into the bright light of the world of recovery.” —from the Foreword by Harry Haroutunian, M.D., Physician Director, Betty Ford Center “The Recovery Book is the Bible of recovery. Everything you need to know you will find in here.” —Neil Scott, host, Recovery Coast to Coast radio Hope, support, and a clear road map for people with drug or alcohol addiction. Announcing a completely revised and updated second edition of The Recovery Book, the Bible of addiction recovery. The Recovery Book provides a direct and easy-to-follow road map to every step in the recovery process, from the momentous decision to quit to the emotional, physical, and spiritual issues that arise along the way. Its comprehensive and effective advice speaks to people with addiction, their loved ones, and addiction professionals who need a proven, trusted resource and a supportive voice. The new edition of The Recovery Book features the revolutionary Recovery Zone System, which divides a life in recovery into three chronological zones and provides guidance on exactly what to do in each zone. First is the Red Zone, where the reader is encouraged to stop everything, activate their recovery and save their life. Next is the Yellow Zone, where the reader can begin to rebuild a life that was torn apart by addiction. Finally, the reader reaches the Green Zone, where he can enjoy a life a recovery and help others. Readers also learn how to use the Recovery Zone ReCheck, a simple, yet very effective relapse prevention tool. The Recovery Zone System works hand-in-hand with the 12-step philosophy and all other recovery methods. In addition, The Recovery Book covers new knowledge about addiction mechanisms and neuroplasticity, explaining how alcohol and drugs alter the brain. The authors outline a simple daily practice, called TAMERS, that helps people to use those same processes to “remold their brains” around recovery, eventually making sobriety a routine way of life. Written by Al J. Mooney, M.D., a recovery activist who speaks internationally on recovery, and health journalists Catherine Dold and Howard Eisenberg, The Recovery Book covers all the latest in addiction science and recovery methods. In 26 chapters and over 600 pages, The Recovery Book tackles issues such as: Committing to Recovery: Identifying and accepting the problem; deciding to get sober. Treatment Options: Extensive information on all current options, and how to choose a program. AA and other 12-Step Fellowships: How to get involved in a mutual-support group and what it can do for you. Addiction Science and Neuroplasticity: How alcohol and drugs alter pathways in the brain, and how to use the same processes to remold the brain around recovery. Relapse Prevention: The Recovery Zone ReCheck, a simple new technique to anticipate and avoid relapses. Rebuilding Your Life: How to handle relationships, socializing, work, education, and finances. Physical and Mental Health: Tips for getting healthy; how to handle common ailments. Pain Control: How to deal with pain in recovery; how to avoid a relapse if you need pain control for surgery or emergency care. Family and Friends: How you can help a loved one with addiction, and how you can help yourself. Raising Substance-Free Kids: How to “addiction-proof” your child. The Epidemic of Prescription Drugs: Now a bigger problem than illegal drugs. Dr. Al J. Mooney has been helping alcoholics and addicts get their lives back for more than thirty years, using both his professional and personal experiences at his family’s treatment center, Willingway, and most recently through his work as medical director for The Healing Place of Wake County (NC), a homeless shelter. The Recovery Book will help millions gain control of their mind, their body, their life, and their happiness. www.TheRecoveryBook.com
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Book Synopsis Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives by : Laura Schlessinger
Download or read book Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives written by Laura Schlessinger and published by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. This book was released on 2002-12-03 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
