5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

Author:

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2013-11-01

Total Pages: 312

ISBN-13: 1628734205

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“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”


Book Synopsis 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by :

Download or read book 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”


1001 Cool Jokes

1001 Cool Jokes

Author: Don Spencer

Publisher: Learn and Play

Published: 2004

Total Pages: 210

ISBN-13: 9781741217438

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It's the best-selling series that people can't get enough of. From jokes to magic tricks, science experiments to far-out facts, you just have to have the coolest series around! Well over a million copies of these cool collections have been sold world-wide since the original 1001 Cool Jokes first hit the shelves, and they're still as popular as ever.


Book Synopsis 1001 Cool Jokes by : Don Spencer

Download or read book 1001 Cool Jokes written by Don Spencer and published by Learn and Play. This book was released on 2004 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's the best-selling series that people can't get enough of. From jokes to magic tricks, science experiments to far-out facts, you just have to have the coolest series around! Well over a million copies of these cool collections have been sold world-wide since the original 1001 Cool Jokes first hit the shelves, and they're still as popular as ever.


3650 Jokes, Puns, and Riddles

3650 Jokes, Puns, and Riddles

Author: Charles Foxgrover

Publisher: Black Dog & Leventhal

Published: 2009-08-26

Total Pages: 546

ISBN-13: 1603762078

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National Humor Month won't be the same with this huge, classic collection of side-splitting, groan-worthy, family-friendly jokes, puns, and riddles. Guaranteed LOLs at a time we can all use a laugh. Between these covers are a staggering 3650 entries - at a joke a day that's 10 full years of comedy! With chapters on everything from Modern Romance, the Working World and Aging to Pop Culture, Money, and much more, 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles contains the most ridiculous quip for every conceivable occasion. There are gibes, barbs, and insults, knock-knock jokes, and one-liners, doctor jokes and lawyer jokes, animal jokes and family jokes, and throughout a seemingly endless supply of bad puns. 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles will have you chuckling, chortling, giggling, grinning, and groaning in spite of yourself.


Book Synopsis 3650 Jokes, Puns, and Riddles by : Charles Foxgrover

Download or read book 3650 Jokes, Puns, and Riddles written by Charles Foxgrover and published by Black Dog & Leventhal. This book was released on 2009-08-26 with total page 546 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: National Humor Month won't be the same with this huge, classic collection of side-splitting, groan-worthy, family-friendly jokes, puns, and riddles. Guaranteed LOLs at a time we can all use a laugh. Between these covers are a staggering 3650 entries - at a joke a day that's 10 full years of comedy! With chapters on everything from Modern Romance, the Working World and Aging to Pop Culture, Money, and much more, 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles contains the most ridiculous quip for every conceivable occasion. There are gibes, barbs, and insults, knock-knock jokes, and one-liners, doctor jokes and lawyer jokes, animal jokes and family jokes, and throughout a seemingly endless supply of bad puns. 3650 Jokes, Puns and Riddles will have you chuckling, chortling, giggling, grinning, and groaning in spite of yourself.


Ultimate Book of Jokes

Ultimate Book of Jokes

Author: Scott McNeely

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: 2012-01-13

Total Pages: 348

ISBN-13: 1452113157

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Whether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.


Book Synopsis Ultimate Book of Jokes by : Scott McNeely

Download or read book Ultimate Book of Jokes written by Scott McNeely and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-01-13 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.


Another 1001 One-Liners and Short Jokes

Another 1001 One-Liners and Short Jokes

Author: Graham Cann

Publisher:

Published: 2020-12-15

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13: 9781838090593

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After the mind blowing success of Volume One, here it is! Another fabulous compilation of the world's best one-liners and short jokes in over forty categories such as Doctors, Celebrities, Law and Order and so many more. "I wanted to join Paranoids Anonymous but they wouldn't tell me where they met" "I've been telling people about the benefit of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness" "I tried taking a selfie in the shower but it keeps coming out blurry. I have selfie steam issues" You're in for a real treat with over 1000 giggles, groans and belly laughs designed to lift your mood and make your day! If laughter is the best medicine, there's enough here to dose up the entire world's population with a vaccine guaranteed to put a smile on your face and warm the cockles of your heart. For your instant inoculation of fatuous fun click the BUY NOW button!


Book Synopsis Another 1001 One-Liners and Short Jokes by : Graham Cann

Download or read book Another 1001 One-Liners and Short Jokes written by Graham Cann and published by . This book was released on 2020-12-15 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After the mind blowing success of Volume One, here it is! Another fabulous compilation of the world's best one-liners and short jokes in over forty categories such as Doctors, Celebrities, Law and Order and so many more. "I wanted to join Paranoids Anonymous but they wouldn't tell me where they met" "I've been telling people about the benefit of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness" "I tried taking a selfie in the shower but it keeps coming out blurry. I have selfie steam issues" You're in for a real treat with over 1000 giggles, groans and belly laughs designed to lift your mood and make your day! If laughter is the best medicine, there's enough here to dose up the entire world's population with a vaccine guaranteed to put a smile on your face and warm the cockles of your heart. For your instant inoculation of fatuous fun click the BUY NOW button!


3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners

3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners

Author: Dave Phillips

Publisher: Gramercy

Published: 2005

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780517226810

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Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."


Book Synopsis 3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners by : Dave Phillips

Download or read book 3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners written by Dave Phillips and published by Gramercy. This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."


The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

Author: Geoff Tibballs

Publisher: Robinson

Published: 2012-06-07

Total Pages: 607

ISBN-13: 1780335369

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A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'


Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs

Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 607 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'


The Funniest Joke Book Ever!

The Funniest Joke Book Ever!

Author: Editors of Portable Press

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2016-05-01

Total Pages: 90

ISBN-13: 1626866139

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Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!


Book Synopsis The Funniest Joke Book Ever! by : Editors of Portable Press

Download or read book The Funniest Joke Book Ever! written by Editors of Portable Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-01 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!


Gagged and Bound

Gagged and Bound

Author: Nick Jones

Publisher: Full Media Ltd

Published: 2015-06-15

Total Pages: 135

ISBN-13: 0993079431

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Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.


Book Synopsis Gagged and Bound by : Nick Jones

Download or read book Gagged and Bound written by Nick Jones and published by Full Media Ltd. This book was released on 2015-06-15 with total page 135 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.


100 Open Ended Jokes

100 Open Ended Jokes

Author: L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club

Publisher:

Published: 2016-07-30

Total Pages: 24

ISBN-13: 9781535541848

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Funny Open Ended Jokes! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! 100 funny jokes Hilarious modern day humor Laugh out loud jokes and entertainment "I'm a little horse," said the pony with a sore throat." "If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?" "Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?" The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!


Book Synopsis 100 Open Ended Jokes by : L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club

Download or read book 100 Open Ended Jokes written by L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club and published by . This book was released on 2016-07-30 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny Open Ended Jokes! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! 100 funny jokes Hilarious modern day humor Laugh out loud jokes and entertainment "I'm a little horse," said the pony with a sore throat." "If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?" "Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?" The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!