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Autobiography of a Fat Bride

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2003-07-08

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 037576092X

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The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-and-all candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.

Book Synopsis Autobiography of a Fat Bride by : Laurie Notaro

Download or read book Autobiography of a Fat Bride written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2003-07-08 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-and-all candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.

Autobiography of a Fat Bride

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2003-07-08

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1588362442

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Book Synopsis Autobiography of a Fat Bride by : Laurie Notaro

MARRIAGEHOOD: Tales of a Fat Wife

Author: Gregg Suchow

Publisher:

Published: 2015-07-14

Total Pages: 76

ISBN-13: 9781514321317

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This is the second book in the Fat Girl series:First comes marriage, second comes insanity. This is the second book in the Fat Girl series. It covers everything from being a fat older bride who is set in her ways to marriage weight and new surroundings while trying to get out of the single girl mindset. This book can offer you a few laugh's with an "in your face" honest outlook on marriage and "his" dirty underwear. This is not WAR AND PEACE...or is it?

Book Synopsis MARRIAGEHOOD: Tales of a Fat Wife by : Gregg Suchow

Download or read book MARRIAGEHOOD: Tales of a Fat Wife written by Gregg Suchow and published by . This book was released on 2015-07-14 with total page 76 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the second book in the Fat Girl series:First comes marriage, second comes insanity. This is the second book in the Fat Girl series. It covers everything from being a fat older bride who is set in her ways to marriage weight and new surroundings while trying to get out of the single girl mindset. This book can offer you a few laugh's with an "in your face" honest outlook on marriage and "his" dirty underwear. This is not WAR AND PEACE...or is it?

Encounters of a Fat Bride

Author: Samah Visaria

Publisher: Penguin Random House India

Published: 2017-06-28

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 9386495953

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Madhurima Pandey is twenty-five, single, and gradually coming to terms with the annoying 'you're next' nudges from family and friends. But soon they realize that chances of finding a groom for her are slim-mainly because she's not. At 93 kilos, she knows she isn't the ideal weight for marriage, even if her family believes she's the ideal age. Despite her reservations, the hunt begins, and so does a spree of rejections until Harsh comes along. Madhu cannot believe that a boy with no obvious flaws has agreed to marry her. Low self-esteem makes her suspect he's either impotent or a homosexual, but she doesn't turn down the proposal immediately. A negligible period of courtship and a hurried engagement follow. But does Madhurima really find her happily-ever-after? Or are there more surprises in store? Jovial, witty and unapologetically honest, Madhurima Pandey's story of struggle and survival in the run-up to her D-Day gives you a refreshingly new take on the big fat Indian wedding.

Book Synopsis Encounters of a Fat Bride by : Samah Visaria

Download or read book Encounters of a Fat Bride written by Samah Visaria and published by Penguin Random House India. This book was released on 2017-06-28 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Madhurima Pandey is twenty-five, single, and gradually coming to terms with the annoying 'you're next' nudges from family and friends. But soon they realize that chances of finding a groom for her are slim-mainly because she's not. At 93 kilos, she knows she isn't the ideal weight for marriage, even if her family believes she's the ideal age. Despite her reservations, the hunt begins, and so does a spree of rejections until Harsh comes along. Madhu cannot believe that a boy with no obvious flaws has agreed to marry her. Low self-esteem makes her suspect he's either impotent or a homosexual, but she doesn't turn down the proposal immediately. A negligible period of courtship and a hurried engagement follow. But does Madhurima really find her happily-ever-after? Or are there more surprises in store? Jovial, witty and unapologetically honest, Madhurima Pandey's story of struggle and survival in the run-up to her D-Day gives you a refreshingly new take on the big fat Indian wedding.

There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2007-05-29

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 0812975723

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The first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant. When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn’t anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be leaving her friends behind. And when you’re a childless thirtysomething freelance writer who works at home, making new friends can be quite a challenge. After a series of false starts nearly gets her exiled from town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn’t just make a splash, she uncovers a sinister mystery that has haunted the town for decades. “[Laurie Notaro] may be the funniest writer in this solar system.”—The Miami Herald

Book Synopsis There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell by : Laurie Notaro

Download or read book There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-05-29 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant. When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn’t anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be leaving her friends behind. And when you’re a childless thirtysomething freelance writer who works at home, making new friends can be quite a challenge. After a series of false starts nearly gets her exiled from town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn’t just make a splash, she uncovers a sinister mystery that has haunted the town for decades. “[Laurie Notaro] may be the funniest writer in this solar system.”—The Miami Herald

We Thought You Would Be Prettier

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2005-04-19

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 0812969014

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She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

Book Synopsis We Thought You Would Be Prettier by : Laurie Notaro

Download or read book We Thought You Would Be Prettier written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2005-04-19 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2004-06-08

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 158836402X

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Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious. Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she’s dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen (“Three Thousand Faces of Eve”) before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie’s newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there’s a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term “meltdowns” (she considers them “Opportunities to Enlighten”) put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess.

Book Synopsis I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) by : Laurie Notaro

Download or read book I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2004-06-08 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious. Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she’s dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen (“Three Thousand Faces of Eve”) before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie’s newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there’s a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term “meltdowns” (she considers them “Opportunities to Enlighten”) put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess.

The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death

Author: Laurie Notaro

Publisher: Villard

Published: 2009-04-28

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 081297574X

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.

Book Synopsis The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death by : Laurie Notaro

Download or read book The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-04-28 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.

Fat Girl

Author: Judith Moore

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2005-03-03

Total Pages: 218

ISBN-13: 1101213248

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A Top Ten Nonfiction Book of 2005 (Entertainment Weekly) For any woman who has ever had a love/hate relationship with food and with how she looks; for anyone who has knowingly or unconsciously used food to try to fill the hole in his heart or soothe the craggy edges of his psyche, Fat Girl is a brilliantly rendered, angst-filled coming-of-age story of gain and loss. From the lush descriptions of food that call to mind the writings of M.F.K. Fisher at her finest, to the heartbreaking accounts of Moore’s deep longing for family and a sense of belonging and love, Fat Girl stuns and shocks, saddens and tickles. “Searingly honest without affectation… Moore emerged from her hellish upbringing as a kind of softer Diane Arbus, wielding pen instead of camera.”—The Seattle Times “Frank, often funny—intelligent and entertaining.”—People (starred review) “God, I love this book. It is wise, funny, painful, revealing, and profoundly honest.”—Anne Lamott “Judith Moore grabs the reader by the collar, and shakes up our notion of life in the fat lane.”—David Sedaris “Stark… lyrical, and often funny, Judith Moore ambushes you on the very first page, and in short order has lifted you up and broken your heart.”—Newsweek “A slap-in-the-face of a book—courageous, heartbreaking, fascinating, and darkly funny.”—Augusten Burroughs

Book Synopsis Fat Girl by : Judith Moore

Download or read book Fat Girl written by Judith Moore and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2005-03-03 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Top Ten Nonfiction Book of 2005 (Entertainment Weekly) For any woman who has ever had a love/hate relationship with food and with how she looks; for anyone who has knowingly or unconsciously used food to try to fill the hole in his heart or soothe the craggy edges of his psyche, Fat Girl is a brilliantly rendered, angst-filled coming-of-age story of gain and loss. From the lush descriptions of food that call to mind the writings of M.F.K. Fisher at her finest, to the heartbreaking accounts of Moore’s deep longing for family and a sense of belonging and love, Fat Girl stuns and shocks, saddens and tickles. “Searingly honest without affectation… Moore emerged from her hellish upbringing as a kind of softer Diane Arbus, wielding pen instead of camera.”—The Seattle Times “Frank, often funny—intelligent and entertaining.”—People (starred review) “God, I love this book. It is wise, funny, painful, revealing, and profoundly honest.”—Anne Lamott “Judith Moore grabs the reader by the collar, and shakes up our notion of life in the fat lane.”—David Sedaris “Stark… lyrical, and often funny, Judith Moore ambushes you on the very first page, and in short order has lifted you up and broken your heart.”—Newsweek “A slap-in-the-face of a book—courageous, heartbreaking, fascinating, and darkly funny.”—Augusten Burroughs

Creating Myself

Author: Mia Tyler

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2008-08-26

Total Pages: 305

ISBN-13: 1416558624

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On the surface, Mia Tyler led a seemingly perfect life. She was a world-renowned plus-size model and the daughter of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and seventies It girl Cyrinda Foxe. But growing up under the shadow of celebrity wasn't as glamorous as it's cracked up to be. From a poverty-stricken childhood in New Hampshire to running with troubled rich kids on Manhattan's Upper East Side, she has an incredible story to tell. In Creating Myself, Mia shares scintillating details about her rock-and-roll family, as well as battling her own personal demons: dumping her mother's cocaine vial down the toilet at just eight years old, running around backstage at her father's concerts (including the one where she first met her sister, Liv), and attempting to distract herself from her pain through drug addiction and self-mutilation. Yet this memoir is ultimately a tale of redemption. Mia learns that in order to truly grow up, she must forgive both herself and those who hurt her, give up the quest for perfection, and acknowledge that she is still a work in progress. Creating Myself is raw and inspirational, the tale of a hell-and-back journey from the depths of depression and addiction to triumphant self-discovery.

Book Synopsis Creating Myself by : Mia Tyler

Download or read book Creating Myself written by Mia Tyler and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-08-26 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the surface, Mia Tyler led a seemingly perfect life. She was a world-renowned plus-size model and the daughter of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and seventies It girl Cyrinda Foxe. But growing up under the shadow of celebrity wasn't as glamorous as it's cracked up to be. From a poverty-stricken childhood in New Hampshire to running with troubled rich kids on Manhattan's Upper East Side, she has an incredible story to tell. In Creating Myself, Mia shares scintillating details about her rock-and-roll family, as well as battling her own personal demons: dumping her mother's cocaine vial down the toilet at just eight years old, running around backstage at her father's concerts (including the one where she first met her sister, Liv), and attempting to distract herself from her pain through drug addiction and self-mutilation. Yet this memoir is ultimately a tale of redemption. Mia learns that in order to truly grow up, she must forgive both herself and those who hurt her, give up the quest for perfection, and acknowledge that she is still a work in progress. Creating Myself is raw and inspirational, the tale of a hell-and-back journey from the depths of depression and addiction to triumphant self-discovery.