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What are the 79 wackiest excuses for being late to school? How do you stop a maniac dentist from terrorising children? And what does it take to get every single student at Milford Junior School put on detention? Find out in this hilarious collection of short stories. One ting is guaranteed you will never pick the endings!
Book Synopsis Exploding Endings 1: Painted Dogs & Doom Cakes by : Tim Harris
Download or read book Exploding Endings 1: Painted Dogs & Doom Cakes written by Tim Harris and published by Random House Australia. This book was released on 2020-04-28 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What are the 79 wackiest excuses for being late to school? How do you stop a maniac dentist from terrorising children? And what does it take to get every single student at Milford Junior School put on detention? Find out in this hilarious collection of short stories. One ting is guaranteed you will never pick the endings!
He’s the first teacher to cook us breakfast. Is his spark-maker beetle really that dangerous? I heard he drank yak’s milk in Mongolia. He’s the only person who isn’t afraid of Canteen Carol. My mum says he used to be in the circus. The class in room 12B has a new teacher, and nothing is ever going to be the same . . .
Book Synopsis Mr Bambuckle's Remarkables by : Tim Harris
Download or read book Mr Bambuckle's Remarkables written by Tim Harris and published by Random House Australia. This book was released on 2017-08-28 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He’s the first teacher to cook us breakfast. Is his spark-maker beetle really that dangerous? I heard he drank yak’s milk in Mongolia. He’s the only person who isn’t afraid of Canteen Carol. My mum says he used to be in the circus. The class in room 12B has a new teacher, and nothing is ever going to be the same . . .
John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions. Now a Major Motion Picture. "[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." —Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
Book Synopsis John Dies at the End by : Jason Pargin
Download or read book John Dies at the End written by Jason Pargin and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2009-09-29 with total page 479 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions. Now a Major Motion Picture. "[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." —Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
The first book in the New York Times bestselling epic fantasy trilogy by award-winning author Laini Taylor Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages--not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. When one of the strangers--beautiful, haunted Akiva--fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?
Book Synopsis Daughter of Smoke & Bone by : Laini Taylor
Download or read book Daughter of Smoke & Bone written by Laini Taylor and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2011-09-27 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first book in the New York Times bestselling epic fantasy trilogy by award-winning author Laini Taylor Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages--not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. When one of the strangers--beautiful, haunted Akiva--fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?
WINNER OF THE AMERICAN LIBRARY ASSOCIATION’S BEST HORROR NOVEL OF THE YEAR “As much F. Scott Fitzgerald as Dean Koontz” (#1 New York Times bestselling author Patricia Briggs), Christopher Buehlman excels in twisting the familiar into newfound dread in his “genre-bending” (California Literary Review) novels. Now the acclaimed author of Those Across the River delivers his most disquieting tale yet... The secret is, vampires are real and I am one. The secret is, I’m stealing from you what is most truly yours and I’m not sorry... New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city’s sidewalks. The subways are his playground and his highway, shuttling him throughout Manhattan to bleed the unsuspecting in the Sheep Meadow of Central Park or in the backseats of Checker cabs, or even those in their own apartments who are too hypnotized by sitcoms to notice him opening their windows. It’s almost too easy. Until one night he sees them hunting on his beloved subway. The children with the merry eyes. Vampires, like him…or not like him. Whatever they are, whatever their appearance means, the undead in the tunnels of Manhattan are not as safe as they once were. And neither are the rest of us.
Book Synopsis The Lesser Dead by : Christopher Buehlman
Download or read book The Lesser Dead written by Christopher Buehlman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-10-07 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINNER OF THE AMERICAN LIBRARY ASSOCIATION’S BEST HORROR NOVEL OF THE YEAR “As much F. Scott Fitzgerald as Dean Koontz” (#1 New York Times bestselling author Patricia Briggs), Christopher Buehlman excels in twisting the familiar into newfound dread in his “genre-bending” (California Literary Review) novels. Now the acclaimed author of Those Across the River delivers his most disquieting tale yet... The secret is, vampires are real and I am one. The secret is, I’m stealing from you what is most truly yours and I’m not sorry... New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city’s sidewalks. The subways are his playground and his highway, shuttling him throughout Manhattan to bleed the unsuspecting in the Sheep Meadow of Central Park or in the backseats of Checker cabs, or even those in their own apartments who are too hypnotized by sitcoms to notice him opening their windows. It’s almost too easy. Until one night he sees them hunting on his beloved subway. The children with the merry eyes. Vampires, like him…or not like him. Whatever they are, whatever their appearance means, the undead in the tunnels of Manhattan are not as safe as they once were. And neither are the rest of us.
This fascinating book is the first volume in a projected cultural history of the United States, from the earliest English settlements to our own time. It is a history of American folkways as they have changed through time, and it argues a thesis about the importance for the United States of having been British in its cultural origins. While most people in the United States today have no British ancestors, they have assimilated regional cultures which were created by British colonists, even while preserving ethnic identities at the same time. In this sense, nearly all Americans are "Albion's Seed," no matter what their ethnicity may be. The concluding section of this remarkable book explores the ways that regional cultures have continued to dominate national politics from 1789 to 1988, and still help to shape attitudes toward education, government, gender, and violence, on which differences between American regions are greater than between European nations.
Book Synopsis Albion's Seed by : David Hackett Fischer
Download or read book Albion's Seed written by David Hackett Fischer and published by Oxford University Press. This book was released on 1991-03-14 with total page 981 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This fascinating book is the first volume in a projected cultural history of the United States, from the earliest English settlements to our own time. It is a history of American folkways as they have changed through time, and it argues a thesis about the importance for the United States of having been British in its cultural origins. While most people in the United States today have no British ancestors, they have assimilated regional cultures which were created by British colonists, even while preserving ethnic identities at the same time. In this sense, nearly all Americans are "Albion's Seed," no matter what their ethnicity may be. The concluding section of this remarkable book explores the ways that regional cultures have continued to dominate national politics from 1789 to 1988, and still help to shape attitudes toward education, government, gender, and violence, on which differences between American regions are greater than between European nations.
Victor Renquist, centuries-old nosferatu leader, is called to England. Some archaeologists are excavating a burial mound, but what they will uncover is no Saxon warrior but the being once known as the Merlin. And he's not the kindly old duffer of The Sword in the Stone. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Book Synopsis More Than Mortal by : Mick Farren
Download or read book More Than Mortal written by Mick Farren and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2002-04-15 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Victor Renquist, centuries-old nosferatu leader, is called to England. Some archaeologists are excavating a burial mound, but what they will uncover is no Saxon warrior but the being once known as the Merlin. And he's not the kindly old duffer of The Sword in the Stone. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The emotional power of If I Stay meets the survival story of Maze Runner Genetically engineered identical twins Kyle and Connor McAdams were born two years apart. Their parents figured it was safer that way, to increase their odds of survival. Connor was born first, paving an impossibly perfect path for Kyle to follow. He was the best at everything—valedictorian, star quarterback etc. Kyle never thought he’d be able to live up, so he didn’t even try. But when Connor, 18, suddenly drops dead of a heart attack, and Kyle learns of other genetically modified kids who’ve also died on their eighteenth birthdays, he’s suddenly motivated—to save his own life. Like Connor and all the rest, Kyle was conceived at the Genesis Innovations Laboratory, where the mysterious Dr. Mueller conducted experiments on them. The clock’s ticking as Kyle searches for answers: who was Dr. Mueller really, and what did he do to cause their hearts to stop at eighteen? He must unravel the clues quickly, before, he too, becomes another perfect, blue-eyed corpse.
Book Synopsis Deadly Design by : Debra Dockter
Download or read book Deadly Design written by Debra Dockter and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-06-02 with total page 284 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The emotional power of If I Stay meets the survival story of Maze Runner Genetically engineered identical twins Kyle and Connor McAdams were born two years apart. Their parents figured it was safer that way, to increase their odds of survival. Connor was born first, paving an impossibly perfect path for Kyle to follow. He was the best at everything—valedictorian, star quarterback etc. Kyle never thought he’d be able to live up, so he didn’t even try. But when Connor, 18, suddenly drops dead of a heart attack, and Kyle learns of other genetically modified kids who’ve also died on their eighteenth birthdays, he’s suddenly motivated—to save his own life. Like Connor and all the rest, Kyle was conceived at the Genesis Innovations Laboratory, where the mysterious Dr. Mueller conducted experiments on them. The clock’s ticking as Kyle searches for answers: who was Dr. Mueller really, and what did he do to cause their hearts to stop at eighteen? He must unravel the clues quickly, before, he too, becomes another perfect, blue-eyed corpse.
Teenage baker Syd sends ripples of heartbreak through Austin’s queer community when a batch of post-being-dumped brownies turns out to be magical—and makes everyone who eats them break up. “What’s done is done.” Unless, of course, it was done by my brownies. Then it’s getting undone. Syd (no pronouns, please) has always dealt with big, hard-to-talk-about things by baking. Being dumped is no different, except now Syd is baking at the Proud Muffin, a queer bakery and community space in Austin. And everyone who eats Syd’s breakup brownies . . . breaks up. Even Vin and Alec, who own the Proud Muffin. And their breakup might take the bakery down with it. Being dumped is one thing; causing ripples of queer heartbreak through the community is another. But the cute bike delivery person, Harley (he or they, check the pronoun pin, it’s probably on the messenger bag), believes Syd about the magic baking. And Harley believes Syd’s magical baking can fix things, too—one recipe at a time.
Book Synopsis The Heartbreak Bakery by : A. R. Capetta
Download or read book The Heartbreak Bakery written by A. R. Capetta and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2021-10-12 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Teenage baker Syd sends ripples of heartbreak through Austin’s queer community when a batch of post-being-dumped brownies turns out to be magical—and makes everyone who eats them break up. “What’s done is done.” Unless, of course, it was done by my brownies. Then it’s getting undone. Syd (no pronouns, please) has always dealt with big, hard-to-talk-about things by baking. Being dumped is no different, except now Syd is baking at the Proud Muffin, a queer bakery and community space in Austin. And everyone who eats Syd’s breakup brownies . . . breaks up. Even Vin and Alec, who own the Proud Muffin. And their breakup might take the bakery down with it. Being dumped is one thing; causing ripples of queer heartbreak through the community is another. But the cute bike delivery person, Harley (he or they, check the pronoun pin, it’s probably on the messenger bag), believes Syd about the magic baking. And Harley believes Syd’s magical baking can fix things, too—one recipe at a time.
A coming-of-age story with true love at its core, Greetings from Tucson tells the story of four sisters' lives through the lens of handwritten letters. These long lost letters, found decades after they were penned, once formed a lifeline that held them together when their worlds were otherwise falling apart. In June of 1945, tragedy struck, and Cookie, Frankie, Dottie, and Connie were torn from everything they knew-their parents, their home, and, most importantly, each other. Forced to live thousands of miles apart, they feared their bond would be broken. The sisters began writing letters to each other to celebrate their milestones and mourn every heartbreak. Through those letters, they found a way to strengthen their sisterhood when the odds were so stacked against them. The letters were like prisms, reflecting their lives from childhood into adulthood, as they fell in love or fulfilled their lifelong dreams. That is, until one sister's secret from the past changed everything. Would she break the fragile bond they worked so hard to nurture after their fateful split so many years ago?
Book Synopsis Greetings from Tucson by : Cherie L. Genua
Download or read book Greetings from Tucson written by Cherie L. Genua and published by . This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A coming-of-age story with true love at its core, Greetings from Tucson tells the story of four sisters' lives through the lens of handwritten letters. These long lost letters, found decades after they were penned, once formed a lifeline that held them together when their worlds were otherwise falling apart. In June of 1945, tragedy struck, and Cookie, Frankie, Dottie, and Connie were torn from everything they knew-their parents, their home, and, most importantly, each other. Forced to live thousands of miles apart, they feared their bond would be broken. The sisters began writing letters to each other to celebrate their milestones and mourn every heartbreak. Through those letters, they found a way to strengthen their sisterhood when the odds were so stacked against them. The letters were like prisms, reflecting their lives from childhood into adulthood, as they fell in love or fulfilled their lifelong dreams. That is, until one sister's secret from the past changed everything. Would she break the fragile bond they worked so hard to nurture after their fateful split so many years ago?
