A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length

A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2012-03-06

Total Pages: 286

ISBN-13: 1449417574

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More of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews. A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length collects more than 200 of his reviews from 2006 to 2012 in which he gave movies two stars or fewer. Known for his fair-minded and well-written film reviews, Roger is at his razor-sharp humorous best when skewering bad movies. Consider this opener for the one-star Your Highness: “Your Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs, and four-letter words. That this is the work of David Gordon Green beggars the imagination. One of its heroes wears the penis of a minotaur on a string around his neck. I hate it when that happens.” And finally, the inspiration for the title of this book, the one-star Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a doglike robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and Your Movie Sucks, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, were bestsellers. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel. Movie buffs and humor lovers alike will relish this treasury of movies so bad that you may just want to see them for a good laugh!


Book Synopsis A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length written by Roger Ebert and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-06 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews. A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length collects more than 200 of his reviews from 2006 to 2012 in which he gave movies two stars or fewer. Known for his fair-minded and well-written film reviews, Roger is at his razor-sharp humorous best when skewering bad movies. Consider this opener for the one-star Your Highness: “Your Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs, and four-letter words. That this is the work of David Gordon Green beggars the imagination. One of its heroes wears the penis of a minotaur on a string around his neck. I hate it when that happens.” And finally, the inspiration for the title of this book, the one-star Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a doglike robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and Your Movie Sucks, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, were bestsellers. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel. Movie buffs and humor lovers alike will relish this treasury of movies so bad that you may just want to see them for a good laugh!

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2013-07-30

Total Pages: 384

ISBN-13: 0740792482

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The Pulitzer Prize–winning film critics offers up more reviews of horrible films. Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself. I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert’s most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders. Witness: Armageddon * (1998)—The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out. The Beverly Hillbillies * (1993)—Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you’ve ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It’s appalling. North no stars (1994)—I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. Police Academy no stars (1984)—It’s so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you’re sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is. Dear God * (1996)—Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile. The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you’ll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert’s creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.


Book Synopsis I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie written by Roger Ebert and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Pulitzer Prize–winning film critics offers up more reviews of horrible films. Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself. I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert’s most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders. Witness: Armageddon * (1998)—The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out. The Beverly Hillbillies * (1993)—Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you’ve ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It’s appalling. North no stars (1994)—I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. Police Academy no stars (1984)—It’s so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you’re sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is. Dear God * (1996)—Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile. The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you’ll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert’s creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.

Your Movie Sucks

Your Movie Sucks

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2007-03-01

Total Pages: 364

ISBN-13: 0740792156

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A collection of some of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews, from Alex & Emma to the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours. From Roger’s review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): “The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.' Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: “Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind . . . . Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers . . . .” Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a bestseller. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.


Book Synopsis Your Movie Sucks by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book Your Movie Sucks written by Roger Ebert and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2007-03-01 with total page 364 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of some of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews, from Alex & Emma to the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours. From Roger’s review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): “The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.' Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: “Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind . . . . Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers . . . .” Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a bestseller. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.

The Pot and How to Use It

The Pot and How to Use It

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2010-09-21

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1449406017

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A guide to the handy kitchen appliance, plus a range of recipes, from the Pulitzer Prize–winning movie critic. In The Pot and How to Use It, Roger Ebert—Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic, admitted “competent cook,” and long-time electric rice cooker enthusiast—gives readers a charming, practical guide to this handy and often-overlooked kitchen appliance. While The Pot and How to Use It contains numerous and surprisingly varied recipes for electric rice cookers, it is much more than a cookbook. Originating from a blog entry on Roger’s popular Web site, the book also includes readers’ comments and recipes alongside Roger’s own discerning insights and observations on why and how we cook. With an introduction by vegetarian cookbook author Anna Thomas and expert assistance from recipe consultant and nutritionist Yvonne Nienstadt, The Pot and How to Use It is perfect for fans of Roger’s superb writing, as well as anyone looking to incorporate the convenience and versatility of electric rice cookers into his or her kitchen repertoire.


Book Synopsis The Pot and How to Use It by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book The Pot and How to Use It written by Roger Ebert and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2010-09-21 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide to the handy kitchen appliance, plus a range of recipes, from the Pulitzer Prize–winning movie critic. In The Pot and How to Use It, Roger Ebert—Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic, admitted “competent cook,” and long-time electric rice cooker enthusiast—gives readers a charming, practical guide to this handy and often-overlooked kitchen appliance. While The Pot and How to Use It contains numerous and surprisingly varied recipes for electric rice cookers, it is much more than a cookbook. Originating from a blog entry on Roger’s popular Web site, the book also includes readers’ comments and recipes alongside Roger’s own discerning insights and observations on why and how we cook. With an introduction by vegetarian cookbook author Anna Thomas and expert assistance from recipe consultant and nutritionist Yvonne Nienstadt, The Pot and How to Use It is perfect for fans of Roger’s superb writing, as well as anyone looking to incorporate the convenience and versatility of electric rice cookers into his or her kitchen repertoire.

Two Weeks in the Midday Sun

Two Weeks in the Midday Sun

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 2016-04-06

Total Pages: 202

ISBN-13: 022631443X

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Praise for Two Weeks in the Midday Sun -- About the Author -- Title Page -- Foreword by Martin Scorsese -- Dedication -- Two Weeks in the Midday Sun: A Cannes Notebook -- Postscript, 1997: Scorsese Goes to Dinner


Book Synopsis Two Weeks in the Midday Sun by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book Two Weeks in the Midday Sun written by Roger Ebert and published by University of Chicago Press. This book was released on 2016-04-06 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Praise for Two Weeks in the Midday Sun -- About the Author -- Title Page -- Foreword by Martin Scorsese -- Dedication -- Two Weeks in the Midday Sun: A Cannes Notebook -- Postscript, 1997: Scorsese Goes to Dinner

Roger Ebert's Book of Film

Roger Ebert's Book of Film

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: W W Norton & Company Incorporated

Published: 1997

Total Pages: 793

ISBN-13: 9780393040005

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The Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic assembles and introduces more than one hundred essays and articles about film, with entries by and about movie stars, famous directors, industry executives, and critics. Tour.


Book Synopsis Roger Ebert's Book of Film by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book Roger Ebert's Book of Film written by Roger Ebert and published by W W Norton & Company Incorporated. This book was released on 1997 with total page 793 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic assembles and introduces more than one hundred essays and articles about film, with entries by and about movie stars, famous directors, industry executives, and critics. Tour.

The Sci-Fi Movie Guide

The Sci-Fi Movie Guide

Author: Chris Barsanti

Publisher: Visible Ink Press

Published: 2014-09-22

Total Pages: 528

ISBN-13: 1578595339

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Once upon a time, science fiction was only in the future. It was the stuff of drive-ins and cheap double-bills. Then, with the ever-increasing rush of new, society-altering technologies, science fiction pushed its way to the present, and it busted out of the genre ghetto of science fiction and barged its way into the mainstream. What used to be mere fantasy (trips to the moon? Wristwatch radios? Supercomputers capable of learning?) are now everyday reality. Whether nostalgic for the future or fast-forwarding to the present, The Sci-Fi Movie Guide: The Universe of Film from Alien to Zardoz covers the broad and widening range of science-fiction movies. From the trashy to the epic, from the classics to today's blockbusters, this cinefile’s guidebook reviews nearly 1,000 of the biggest, baddest, and brightest from every age and genre of cinematic and TV science fiction. You’ll find more than just Star Wars, Star Trek, and Transformers, with reviews on many overlooked and under-appreciated gems and genres, such as ... • Monsters! Pacific Rim, Godzilla, The Thing, Creature from the Black Lagoon • Superheroes: Thor, Iron Man, X-Men, The Amazing Spider-man, Superman • Avant-garde masterpieces: Solaris, 2001, Brazil • and many, many more categories and movies!!


Book Synopsis The Sci-Fi Movie Guide by : Chris Barsanti

Download or read book The Sci-Fi Movie Guide written by Chris Barsanti and published by Visible Ink Press. This book was released on 2014-09-22 with total page 528 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Once upon a time, science fiction was only in the future. It was the stuff of drive-ins and cheap double-bills. Then, with the ever-increasing rush of new, society-altering technologies, science fiction pushed its way to the present, and it busted out of the genre ghetto of science fiction and barged its way into the mainstream. What used to be mere fantasy (trips to the moon? Wristwatch radios? Supercomputers capable of learning?) are now everyday reality. Whether nostalgic for the future or fast-forwarding to the present, The Sci-Fi Movie Guide: The Universe of Film from Alien to Zardoz covers the broad and widening range of science-fiction movies. From the trashy to the epic, from the classics to today's blockbusters, this cinefile’s guidebook reviews nearly 1,000 of the biggest, baddest, and brightest from every age and genre of cinematic and TV science fiction. You’ll find more than just Star Wars, Star Trek, and Transformers, with reviews on many overlooked and under-appreciated gems and genres, such as ... • Monsters! Pacific Rim, Godzilla, The Thing, Creature from the Black Lagoon • Superheroes: Thor, Iron Man, X-Men, The Amazing Spider-man, Superman • Avant-garde masterpieces: Solaris, 2001, Brazil • and many, many more categories and movies!!

A Little Life

A Little Life

Author: Hanya Yanagihara

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2016-01-26

Total Pages: 834

ISBN-13: 0804172706

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.


Book Synopsis A Little Life by : Hanya Yanagihara

Download or read book A Little Life written by Hanya Yanagihara and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2016-01-26 with total page 834 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.

Unbearable Lightness

Unbearable Lightness

Author: Portia de Rossi

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2011-03-03

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1849835276

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"I didn't decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Although there was a certain glamour to anorexics, I didn't want to be one. I just wanted to excel in dieting. And weighing in at 80 pounds on 300 calories a day, I was the best little dieter there ever was." In scalding prose, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades. She alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and lying to herself and everyone around her about the depth of her illness. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to health and happiness, ultimately falling head over heels in love with Ellen DeGeneres. In this remarkable and landmark book, she tells a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.


Book Synopsis Unbearable Lightness by : Portia de Rossi

Download or read book Unbearable Lightness written by Portia de Rossi and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-03-03 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I didn't decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Although there was a certain glamour to anorexics, I didn't want to be one. I just wanted to excel in dieting. And weighing in at 80 pounds on 300 calories a day, I was the best little dieter there ever was." In scalding prose, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades. She alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and lying to herself and everyone around her about the depth of her illness. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to health and happiness, ultimately falling head over heels in love with Ellen DeGeneres. In this remarkable and landmark book, she tells a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary

Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary

Author: Roger Ebert

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2013-07-30

Total Pages: 180

ISBN-13: 0740792466

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An expanded glossary of movie clichés from the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic. The popular film critic offers a compilation of witty and wise observations about the film lexicon, including “Fruit Cart,” a chase scene through an ethnic or foreign locale, or “The Non-Answering Pet,” referring to a dead pet in a horror movie.


Book Synopsis Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary by : Roger Ebert

Download or read book Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary written by Roger Ebert and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An expanded glossary of movie clichés from the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic. The popular film critic offers a compilation of witty and wise observations about the film lexicon, including “Fruit Cart,” a chase scene through an ethnic or foreign locale, or “The Non-Answering Pet,” referring to a dead pet in a horror movie.