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Quips and quotes about aging to keep you laughing into your golden years. If there’s one thing most of us have learned by midlife, it’s that sharing laughter is what makes for the best memories—and one of the best ways to live until you die. You know you’re getting older when… •you do the hokey pokey and put your left hip out—and it stays out •you’re cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police •you’re sitting in a rocker and can’t get it started This treasury of humorous observations can lift the spirits of that large portion of the population who are settling into a new phase of life—and want to add laughter to all the other medicines they’re taking.
Book Synopsis In Dog Years I'm Dead by : Carol Lynn Pearson
Download or read book In Dog Years I'm Dead written by Carol Lynn Pearson and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2010-08-01 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Quips and quotes about aging to keep you laughing into your golden years. If there’s one thing most of us have learned by midlife, it’s that sharing laughter is what makes for the best memories—and one of the best ways to live until you die. You know you’re getting older when… •you do the hokey pokey and put your left hip out—and it stays out •you’re cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police •you’re sitting in a rocker and can’t get it started This treasury of humorous observations can lift the spirits of that large portion of the population who are settling into a new phase of life—and want to add laughter to all the other medicines they’re taking.
Here are quips and jokes for that vast half of humanity that is on the inevitable road to aging and knows that sharing laughter with friends is one of the best ways to live until you die. Samplings: When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All-Bran? Happy hour is naptime now. I finally got all of my stuff together and now I can't remember where I put it.
Book Synopsis In Dog Years I'm Dead by : Carol Lynn Pearson
Download or read book In Dog Years I'm Dead written by Carol Lynn Pearson and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2010-08 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are quips and jokes for that vast half of humanity that is on the inevitable road to aging and knows that sharing laughter with friends is one of the best ways to live until you die. Samplings: When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All-Bran? Happy hour is naptime now. I finally got all of my stuff together and now I can't remember where I put it.
Imagine if J.D. Salinger had a sense of humour ... this intelligent, off-beat novel is fast-paced, wicked, dark and extremely funny. My publishers are trying to convince me that books are like albums and sell better when they are released posthumously. Seeing the point, I ask if I can at least fake my own death, but it seems that is fundamentally dishonest and they flatly refuse to be involved in any such fraud. So just in case I've croaked by the time you read this (and everyone but me is filthy rich), here is my story: one day I'm trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, Nina Pennington, and the next day I'm in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But we hit a bump or two -- a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nyphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscupulous laywers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives -- and now for some unknown reason a lot of people don't want to talk to me anymore. When sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault's story opens with his mother's attempted suicide note: While I'm dead... feed the dog and h
Book Synopsis While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog by : Ric Browde
Download or read book While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog written by Ric Browde and published by . This book was released on 2000 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine if J.D. Salinger had a sense of humour ... this intelligent, off-beat novel is fast-paced, wicked, dark and extremely funny. My publishers are trying to convince me that books are like albums and sell better when they are released posthumously. Seeing the point, I ask if I can at least fake my own death, but it seems that is fundamentally dishonest and they flatly refuse to be involved in any such fraud. So just in case I've croaked by the time you read this (and everyone but me is filthy rich), here is my story: one day I'm trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, Nina Pennington, and the next day I'm in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But we hit a bump or two -- a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nyphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscupulous laywers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives -- and now for some unknown reason a lot of people don't want to talk to me anymore. When sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault's story opens with his mother's attempted suicide note: While I'm dead... feed the dog and h
Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Family life, marriage, kids, new experiences — he's written about them all, both funny and heartbreaking.
Book Synopsis You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead by : Paul Benedetti
Download or read book You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead written by Paul Benedetti and published by Dundurn. This book was released on 2017-02-18 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Family life, marriage, kids, new experiences — he's written about them all, both funny and heartbreaking.
A twenty-five year anniversary collection of cartoons of the famous cat Garfield.
Book Synopsis Garfield at 25 by : Jim Davis
Download or read book Garfield at 25 written by Jim Davis and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2004-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A twenty-five year anniversary collection of cartoons of the famous cat Garfield.
Men Still at Work explores the reasons why many men are continuing to work well beyond the traditional retirement age. In today’s challenging economy, they are the second-fastest growing group of workers (just behind older women). Filled with profiles of older working men, as well as dynamic interview quotes, Men Still at Work explores thorny issues such as masculinity and the “need to provide,” as well as economic issues, job satisfaction, and more.
Book Synopsis Men Still at Work by : Elizabeth F. Fideler
Download or read book Men Still at Work written by Elizabeth F. Fideler and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2014-02-18 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Men Still at Work explores the reasons why many men are continuing to work well beyond the traditional retirement age. In today’s challenging economy, they are the second-fastest growing group of workers (just behind older women). Filled with profiles of older working men, as well as dynamic interview quotes, Men Still at Work explores thorny issues such as masculinity and the “need to provide,” as well as economic issues, job satisfaction, and more.
Best-selling author Gordon Korman's middle-grade favorite, now with a fresh look! Wallace Wallace won’t lie, even if it means detention. And after he handed in a scorching book report of the classic novel, Old Shep, My Pal, detention is just what he’s been handed. He is sure he’s done nothing wrong: he hated every minute of that book, especially when the dog dies in the end! Why do dogs always die at the end? Wallace refuses to do a rewrite of his report, so his English teacher, who happens to be directing the school play of Old Shep, My Pal, forces him go to the rehearsals to teach him a lesson on why the story is the way it is. Surrounded by theater kids who are apprehensive of him, Wallace sets out to prove himself. But not by changing his mind. Instead, he changes the play into a rock-and-roll rendition, complete with Rollerblades and a moped!
Book Synopsis No More Dead Dogs by : Gordon Korman
Download or read book No More Dead Dogs written by Gordon Korman and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2012-12-25 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Best-selling author Gordon Korman's middle-grade favorite, now with a fresh look! Wallace Wallace won’t lie, even if it means detention. And after he handed in a scorching book report of the classic novel, Old Shep, My Pal, detention is just what he’s been handed. He is sure he’s done nothing wrong: he hated every minute of that book, especially when the dog dies in the end! Why do dogs always die at the end? Wallace refuses to do a rewrite of his report, so his English teacher, who happens to be directing the school play of Old Shep, My Pal, forces him go to the rehearsals to teach him a lesson on why the story is the way it is. Surrounded by theater kids who are apprehensive of him, Wallace sets out to prove himself. But not by changing his mind. Instead, he changes the play into a rock-and-roll rendition, complete with Rollerblades and a moped!
I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
Book Synopsis I'll Mature When I'm Dead by : Dave Barry
Download or read book I'll Mature When I'm Dead written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
A bestselling modern classic—both poignant and funny—narrated by a fifteen year old autistic savant obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, this dazzling novel weaves together an old-fashioned mystery, a contemporary coming-of-age story, and a fascinating excursion into a mind incapable of processing emotions. Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. At fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbour’s dog Wellington impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing. Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer, and turns to his favourite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As Christopher tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, the narrative draws readers into the workings of Christopher’s mind. And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotions. The effect is dazzling, making for one of the freshest debut in years: a comedy, a tearjerker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.
Book Synopsis The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by : Mark Haddon
Download or read book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time written by Mark Haddon and published by Anchor Canada. This book was released on 2009-02-24 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bestselling modern classic—both poignant and funny—narrated by a fifteen year old autistic savant obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, this dazzling novel weaves together an old-fashioned mystery, a contemporary coming-of-age story, and a fascinating excursion into a mind incapable of processing emotions. Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. At fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbour’s dog Wellington impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing. Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer, and turns to his favourite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As Christopher tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, the narrative draws readers into the workings of Christopher’s mind. And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotions. The effect is dazzling, making for one of the freshest debut in years: a comedy, a tearjerker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.
Dr. Lucy Peterman was not built for a messy life. A well-respected surgeon whose patients rely on her warmth, compassion, and fierce support, Lucy has always worked hard and trusted in the system. She’s not the sort of person who ends up in a twelve-step program after being caught stealing supplies from her hospital. But that was Lucy before the accident—before her husband and unborn baby were ripped away from her in an instant, before her future felt like a broken promise. Caught red-handed in a senseless act that kept her demons at bay, she’s faced with a choice: get some help or lose her medical license. Now she’s reluctantly sharing her deepest fears with a bunch of strangers, avoiding her loneliness by befriending a troubled girl, pinning her hopes on her husband’s last gift, and getting involved with a rugged cop from her past. It’s only when she is adopted by a stray mutt and moves her group to the dog park that she begins to truly bond with the ragtag dog-loving addicts—and discovers that a chaotic, unplanned life might be the sweetest of all . . .
Book Synopsis The Dog Year by : Ann Wertz Garvin
Download or read book The Dog Year written by Ann Wertz Garvin and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-06-03 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dr. Lucy Peterman was not built for a messy life. A well-respected surgeon whose patients rely on her warmth, compassion, and fierce support, Lucy has always worked hard and trusted in the system. She’s not the sort of person who ends up in a twelve-step program after being caught stealing supplies from her hospital. But that was Lucy before the accident—before her husband and unborn baby were ripped away from her in an instant, before her future felt like a broken promise. Caught red-handed in a senseless act that kept her demons at bay, she’s faced with a choice: get some help or lose her medical license. Now she’s reluctantly sharing her deepest fears with a bunch of strangers, avoiding her loneliness by befriending a troubled girl, pinning her hopes on her husband’s last gift, and getting involved with a rugged cop from her past. It’s only when she is adopted by a stray mutt and moves her group to the dog park that she begins to truly bond with the ragtag dog-loving addicts—and discovers that a chaotic, unplanned life might be the sweetest of all . . .
