Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships

Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships

Author: Paul C. Rosenblatt

Publisher: Cambridge University Press

Published: 2013-07-25

Total Pages: 207

ISBN-13: 1107435625

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In the extensive literature on couples and intimacy, little has been written about knowing and not knowing as people experience and understand them. Based on intensive interviews with thirty-seven adults, this book shows that knowing and not knowing are central to couple relationships. They are entangled in love, sexual attraction, trust, commitment, caring, empathy, decision making, conflict, and many other aspects of couple life. Often the entanglement is paradoxical. For example, many interviewees revealed that they hungered to be known and yet kept secrets from their partner. Many described working hard at knowing their partner well, and yet there were also things about their partner and their partner's past that they wanted not to know. This book's qualitative, phenomenological approach builds on and adds to the largely quantitative social psychological, communications and family field literature to offer a new and accessible insight into the experience of intimacy.


Book Synopsis Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships by : Paul C. Rosenblatt

Download or read book Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships written by Paul C. Rosenblatt and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 2013-07-25 with total page 207 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the extensive literature on couples and intimacy, little has been written about knowing and not knowing as people experience and understand them. Based on intensive interviews with thirty-seven adults, this book shows that knowing and not knowing are central to couple relationships. They are entangled in love, sexual attraction, trust, commitment, caring, empathy, decision making, conflict, and many other aspects of couple life. Often the entanglement is paradoxical. For example, many interviewees revealed that they hungered to be known and yet kept secrets from their partner. Many described working hard at knowing their partner well, and yet there were also things about their partner and their partner's past that they wanted not to know. This book's qualitative, phenomenological approach builds on and adds to the largely quantitative social psychological, communications and family field literature to offer a new and accessible insight into the experience of intimacy.


On Not Knowing

On Not Knowing

Author: Emily Ogden

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 2022-04-20

Total Pages: 129

ISBN-13: 022675135X

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"Emily Ogden's On Not Knowing is at once a memoir and suite of pointed inquiries. Her brief, sharply observed essays invite the reader to think with her about problems she can't set aside: not knowing how to give birth, to listen, to hold it together, to love. Ogden moves nimbly across registers of experience, from the operation of a breast pump to the art of herding cattle; from one-night stands to the stories of Edgar Allan Poe; from kayaking near a whale to psychoanalytic meditation on drowning. Unapologetically personal in its range of reference and idiosyncratic in its canon, On Not Knowing takes for its subject neither a life nor a library, but a cherished world. Ultimately, Ogden wants to teach herself to resist the temptation of knowingness: to encounter passionate love, well remembered art, and the new lives of her children without forearming herself with a sense that these things are already understood. Committed, as a scholar, to the accumulation of knowledge, Ogden nonetheless finds that knowingness is, for her, a way of getting stuck, a way of not really living. These essays want to learn with us to resist the temptation to cling to the wall at the edge of the pool, and instead to swim"--


Book Synopsis On Not Knowing by : Emily Ogden

Download or read book On Not Knowing written by Emily Ogden and published by University of Chicago Press. This book was released on 2022-04-20 with total page 129 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Emily Ogden's On Not Knowing is at once a memoir and suite of pointed inquiries. Her brief, sharply observed essays invite the reader to think with her about problems she can't set aside: not knowing how to give birth, to listen, to hold it together, to love. Ogden moves nimbly across registers of experience, from the operation of a breast pump to the art of herding cattle; from one-night stands to the stories of Edgar Allan Poe; from kayaking near a whale to psychoanalytic meditation on drowning. Unapologetically personal in its range of reference and idiosyncratic in its canon, On Not Knowing takes for its subject neither a life nor a library, but a cherished world. Ultimately, Ogden wants to teach herself to resist the temptation of knowingness: to encounter passionate love, well remembered art, and the new lives of her children without forearming herself with a sense that these things are already understood. Committed, as a scholar, to the accumulation of knowledge, Ogden nonetheless finds that knowingness is, for her, a way of getting stuck, a way of not really living. These essays want to learn with us to resist the temptation to cling to the wall at the edge of the pool, and instead to swim"--


Couples

Couples

Author: Barry Dym

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Published: 1993

Total Pages: 296

ISBN-13: 9780060167134

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"Everyone, in or out of a relationship, has wondered how couples work, and what makes them successful or unsuccessful, long-lasting or short-term. In this insightful, refreshingly nonjudgmental book, Barry Dym, Ph.D., and Michael Glenn, M.D., chart the stages of a couple's journey together, and offer a provocative glimpse of the complex birth and development of intimate partnerships." "At the heart of Couples, the authors identify three distinct yet recurring stages common to all enduring relationships. We learn that couples begin with a period of Expansion and Promise - a time when each individual feels somehow larger, more witty and charming, in short, the best person that he or she can be. The intensity of Expansion cannot last though, and inevitably will move into Contraction - we each pull back into our more habitual ways, enact or demand more stereotypical gender roles, and feel disappointed and betrayed. Couples who weather the storm of Contraction (and long-term couples will experience many of them) will resolve their struggles and move into a time of Resolution, when intimacy is renewed and each individual can become more complete, containing both their "best" and "worst" selves." "But Couples is much more than a map. Illustrating their ideas with in-depth examples, Drs. Dym and Glenn reveal how a couple's identity is shaped by these stages and the powerful cultural expectations of society, friends, and family who tell us what a couple should be. Couples analyzes how recurrent patterns are established, and the impact of gender issues, children, and the serious crises that occur in any lifetime. Finally, the authors offer accessible suggestions for applying these concepts to one's own relationship, guiding couples and individuals in how to manage their own periods of turmoil and transition." "Original, engaging, and thoughtful, Couples uncovers the essence of our most intimate relationship - ultimately, it offers a striking portrait not just of whom we love (and why), but who we are."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved


Book Synopsis Couples by : Barry Dym

Download or read book Couples written by Barry Dym and published by HarperCollins Publishers. This book was released on 1993 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Everyone, in or out of a relationship, has wondered how couples work, and what makes them successful or unsuccessful, long-lasting or short-term. In this insightful, refreshingly nonjudgmental book, Barry Dym, Ph.D., and Michael Glenn, M.D., chart the stages of a couple's journey together, and offer a provocative glimpse of the complex birth and development of intimate partnerships." "At the heart of Couples, the authors identify three distinct yet recurring stages common to all enduring relationships. We learn that couples begin with a period of Expansion and Promise - a time when each individual feels somehow larger, more witty and charming, in short, the best person that he or she can be. The intensity of Expansion cannot last though, and inevitably will move into Contraction - we each pull back into our more habitual ways, enact or demand more stereotypical gender roles, and feel disappointed and betrayed. Couples who weather the storm of Contraction (and long-term couples will experience many of them) will resolve their struggles and move into a time of Resolution, when intimacy is renewed and each individual can become more complete, containing both their "best" and "worst" selves." "But Couples is much more than a map. Illustrating their ideas with in-depth examples, Drs. Dym and Glenn reveal how a couple's identity is shaped by these stages and the powerful cultural expectations of society, friends, and family who tell us what a couple should be. Couples analyzes how recurrent patterns are established, and the impact of gender issues, children, and the serious crises that occur in any lifetime. Finally, the authors offer accessible suggestions for applying these concepts to one's own relationship, guiding couples and individuals in how to manage their own periods of turmoil and transition." "Original, engaging, and thoughtful, Couples uncovers the essence of our most intimate relationship - ultimately, it offers a striking portrait not just of whom we love (and why), but who we are."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved


You're Not Listening

You're Not Listening

Author: Kate Murphy

Publisher: Celadon Books

Published: 2020-01-07

Total Pages: 304

ISBN-13: 1250297206

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When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? "If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset—and this book does it with science and humor." -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take **Hand picked by Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink for Next Big Ideas Club** "An essential book for our times." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.


Book Synopsis You're Not Listening by : Kate Murphy

Download or read book You're Not Listening written by Kate Murphy and published by Celadon Books. This book was released on 2020-01-07 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? "If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset—and this book does it with science and humor." -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take **Hand picked by Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink for Next Big Ideas Club** "An essential book for our times." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.


The Wisdom of Not Knowing

The Wisdom of Not Knowing

Author: Estelle Frankel

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

Published: 2017-02-14

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 0834840774

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Indie Book Awards Winner A deeply affirming exploration of the unknown—with meditations and exercises for transforming the fear and uncertainty of ‘not knowing’ into a sense of openness, curiosity, and bravery For most of us, the unknown is both friend and foe. At times, it can be a source of paralyzing fear and uncertainty. At other times, it can be a starting point for transformation, creativity, and growth. The unknown is a deep current that runs throughout all religions and mystical traditions, plays an important role in contemporary psychotheraputic thought and practice, and is essential to personal growth and healing. In The Wisdom of Not Knowing, psychotherapist Estelle Frankel shows us that our psychological, emotional, and spiritual health is radically influenced by how comfortable we are with navigating the unknown and uncertain dimensions of our lives. Drawing on insights from Kabbalah, depth psychology, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and ancient myth, Frankel explores how we can grow our souls by tapping into the wisdom of not knowing. She also includes case studies of individuals who have grappled with fears of the unknown and, as a result, come out wiser, stronger, and more resilient. Each chapter includes experiential exercises and meditations for befriending the unknown, conveying how embracing a state of "not knowing" is the key to gaining new knowledge, learning to bear uncertainty, and enjoying a healthy sense of adventure and curiosity.


Book Synopsis The Wisdom of Not Knowing by : Estelle Frankel

Download or read book The Wisdom of Not Knowing written by Estelle Frankel and published by Shambhala Publications. This book was released on 2017-02-14 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Indie Book Awards Winner A deeply affirming exploration of the unknown—with meditations and exercises for transforming the fear and uncertainty of ‘not knowing’ into a sense of openness, curiosity, and bravery For most of us, the unknown is both friend and foe. At times, it can be a source of paralyzing fear and uncertainty. At other times, it can be a starting point for transformation, creativity, and growth. The unknown is a deep current that runs throughout all religions and mystical traditions, plays an important role in contemporary psychotheraputic thought and practice, and is essential to personal growth and healing. In The Wisdom of Not Knowing, psychotherapist Estelle Frankel shows us that our psychological, emotional, and spiritual health is radically influenced by how comfortable we are with navigating the unknown and uncertain dimensions of our lives. Drawing on insights from Kabbalah, depth psychology, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and ancient myth, Frankel explores how we can grow our souls by tapping into the wisdom of not knowing. She also includes case studies of individuals who have grappled with fears of the unknown and, as a result, come out wiser, stronger, and more resilient. Each chapter includes experiential exercises and meditations for befriending the unknown, conveying how embracing a state of "not knowing" is the key to gaining new knowledge, learning to bear uncertainty, and enjoying a healthy sense of adventure and curiosity.


The End of Love

The End of Love

Author: Eva Illouz

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2021-09-15

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 1509550267

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Western culture has endlessly represented the ways in which love miraculously erupts in people’s lives, the mythical moment in which one knows someone is destined for us, the feverish waiting for a phone call or an email, the thrill that runs down our spine at the mere thought of him or her. Yet, a culture that has so much to say about love is virtually silent on the no less mysterious moments when we avoid falling in love, where we fall out of love, when the one who kept us awake at night now leaves us indifferent, or when we hurry away from those who excited us a few months or even a few hours before. In The End of Love, Eva Illouz documents the multifarious ways in which relationships end. She argues that if modern love was once marked by the freedom to enter sexual and emotional bonds according to one’s will and choice, contemporary love has now become characterized by practices of non-choice, the freedom to withdraw from relationships. Illouz dubs this process by which relationships fade, evaporate, dissolve, and break down “unloving.” While sociology has classically focused on the formation of social bonds, The End of Love makes a powerful case for studying why and how social bonds collapse and dissolve. Particularly striking is the role that capitalism plays in practices of non-choice and “unloving.” The unmaking of social bonds, she argues, is connected to contemporary capitalism which is characterized by practices of non-commitment and non-choice, practices that enable the quick withdrawal from a transaction and the quick realignment of prices and the breaking of loyalties. Unloving and non-choice have in turn a profound impact on society and economics as they explain why people may be having fewer children, increasingly living alone, and having less sex. The End of Love presents a profound and original analysis of the effects of capitalism and consumer culture on personal relationships and of what the dissolution of personal relationships means for capitalism.


Book Synopsis The End of Love by : Eva Illouz

Download or read book The End of Love written by Eva Illouz and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2021-09-15 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Western culture has endlessly represented the ways in which love miraculously erupts in people’s lives, the mythical moment in which one knows someone is destined for us, the feverish waiting for a phone call or an email, the thrill that runs down our spine at the mere thought of him or her. Yet, a culture that has so much to say about love is virtually silent on the no less mysterious moments when we avoid falling in love, where we fall out of love, when the one who kept us awake at night now leaves us indifferent, or when we hurry away from those who excited us a few months or even a few hours before. In The End of Love, Eva Illouz documents the multifarious ways in which relationships end. She argues that if modern love was once marked by the freedom to enter sexual and emotional bonds according to one’s will and choice, contemporary love has now become characterized by practices of non-choice, the freedom to withdraw from relationships. Illouz dubs this process by which relationships fade, evaporate, dissolve, and break down “unloving.” While sociology has classically focused on the formation of social bonds, The End of Love makes a powerful case for studying why and how social bonds collapse and dissolve. Particularly striking is the role that capitalism plays in practices of non-choice and “unloving.” The unmaking of social bonds, she argues, is connected to contemporary capitalism which is characterized by practices of non-commitment and non-choice, practices that enable the quick withdrawal from a transaction and the quick realignment of prices and the breaking of loyalties. Unloving and non-choice have in turn a profound impact on society and economics as they explain why people may be having fewer children, increasingly living alone, and having less sex. The End of Love presents a profound and original analysis of the effects of capitalism and consumer culture on personal relationships and of what the dissolution of personal relationships means for capitalism.


Intimate Relationships

Intimate Relationships

Author: Stephen Wolinsky

Publisher: Quantum Institute Incorporated

Published: 2000

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780967036243

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Unrealistic expectations are the culprit in relationship problems. Dr Wolinsky looks at the root causes of unrealistic expectations: separation, resistance to separation, and desire for merger. It is the unresolved resistance to separation which leads people to expect partners to act as parents and fulfil past-time needs in the present. The further extension of this subconscious demand is not 'seeing' or experiencing the partner as a human being in the present.


Book Synopsis Intimate Relationships by : Stephen Wolinsky

Download or read book Intimate Relationships written by Stephen Wolinsky and published by Quantum Institute Incorporated. This book was released on 2000 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Unrealistic expectations are the culprit in relationship problems. Dr Wolinsky looks at the root causes of unrealistic expectations: separation, resistance to separation, and desire for merger. It is the unresolved resistance to separation which leads people to expect partners to act as parents and fulfil past-time needs in the present. The further extension of this subconscious demand is not 'seeing' or experiencing the partner as a human being in the present.


Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

Author: Amy Gahran

Publisher:

Published: 2017-02-03

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9780998647012

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Love is not one-size-fits-all, yet often people assume that healthy, serious relationships all must follow the same basic path. The -Relationship Escalator- is society's bundle of customs for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together, marriage and more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what your options are. This book will help you: - Discover less common relationship options that might suit you. - Understand why and how people have unconventional relationships. - Empower you to negotiate about how your relationships work. - Overcome the fear that loving differently means you're doing it wrong. - Make the world a friendlier, safer place for more paths to love. Featuring real stories and insights from hundreds of people, -Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator- explores consensual nonmonogamy, love without living together, deep connections that pause and resume, and much more. The first in a series of research-based books, this introduction to relationship diversity is both accessible and surprising. LEARN MORE OR ORDER SIGNED COPIES: OffEscalator.com


Book Synopsis Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator by : Amy Gahran

Download or read book Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator written by Amy Gahran and published by . This book was released on 2017-02-03 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Love is not one-size-fits-all, yet often people assume that healthy, serious relationships all must follow the same basic path. The -Relationship Escalator- is society's bundle of customs for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together, marriage and more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what your options are. This book will help you: - Discover less common relationship options that might suit you. - Understand why and how people have unconventional relationships. - Empower you to negotiate about how your relationships work. - Overcome the fear that loving differently means you're doing it wrong. - Make the world a friendlier, safer place for more paths to love. Featuring real stories and insights from hundreds of people, -Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator- explores consensual nonmonogamy, love without living together, deep connections that pause and resume, and much more. The first in a series of research-based books, this introduction to relationship diversity is both accessible and surprising. LEARN MORE OR ORDER SIGNED COPIES: OffEscalator.com


Support Processes in Intimate Relationships

Support Processes in Intimate Relationships

Author: Kieran T. Sullivan

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Published: 2010-06-11

Total Pages: 415

ISBN-13: 0195380177

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This volume will be a valuable resource for researchers in the fields of social and clinical psychology. Graduate students in these subfields and clinicians who practice couples therapy will also find this book useful. --Book Jacket.


Book Synopsis Support Processes in Intimate Relationships by : Kieran T. Sullivan

Download or read book Support Processes in Intimate Relationships written by Kieran T. Sullivan and published by Oxford University Press. This book was released on 2010-06-11 with total page 415 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This volume will be a valuable resource for researchers in the fields of social and clinical psychology. Graduate students in these subfields and clinicians who practice couples therapy will also find this book useful. --Book Jacket.


Uncoupling

Uncoupling

Author: Diane Vaughan

Publisher: Vintage

Published: 1990-09-05

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 0679730028

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Drawing from extensive research and in-depth interviews, an invaluable guide for anyone who wants to understand—or prevent—the collapse of a relationship. How do relationships end? Why does one partner suddenly become discontented with the other—and why is the onset of that discontentment not so sudden after all? What signals do partners send each other to indicate their doubts? Why do those signals so often go unnoticed? And how do people who saw themselves as part of a couple come to terms not just with absence and abandonment, but with a new, single identity? This groundbreaking book reveals a process that begins in secret but gradually becomes public, implicating not only partners but their social milieu. Enlightening, accessible, and deeply affecting, Uncoupling offers a startling vision of what really happens behind the surface when relationships come apart.


Book Synopsis Uncoupling by : Diane Vaughan

Download or read book Uncoupling written by Diane Vaughan and published by Vintage. This book was released on 1990-09-05 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Drawing from extensive research and in-depth interviews, an invaluable guide for anyone who wants to understand—or prevent—the collapse of a relationship. How do relationships end? Why does one partner suddenly become discontented with the other—and why is the onset of that discontentment not so sudden after all? What signals do partners send each other to indicate their doubts? Why do those signals so often go unnoticed? And how do people who saw themselves as part of a couple come to terms not just with absence and abandonment, but with a new, single identity? This groundbreaking book reveals a process that begins in secret but gradually becomes public, implicating not only partners but their social milieu. Enlightening, accessible, and deeply affecting, Uncoupling offers a startling vision of what really happens behind the surface when relationships come apart.