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Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar, it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing: 1. Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger 2. Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you) 3. Where your own blind spots might be Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late! If hindsight is 20/20, dating radar is x-ray vision. Bill Eddy is an award-winning author and president of High Conflict Institute.Megan Hunter is a publisher, author, speaker and the founder of Unhooked Media.
Book Synopsis Dating Radar by : Bill Eddy
Download or read book Dating Radar written by Bill Eddy and published by Unhooked Books. This book was released on 2017-08-22 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar, it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing: 1. Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger 2. Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you) 3. Where your own blind spots might be Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late! If hindsight is 20/20, dating radar is x-ray vision. Bill Eddy is an award-winning author and president of High Conflict Institute.Megan Hunter is a publisher, author, speaker and the founder of Unhooked Media.
“Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend." —Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight. To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own. Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.
Book Synopsis Dangerous Love by : Chad Ford
Download or read book Dangerous Love written by Chad Ford and published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers. This book was released on 2020-06-23 with total page 263 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend." —Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight. To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own. Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.
Book Synopsis Love's Conflict by : Florence Marryat
Download or read book Love's Conflict written by Florence Marryat and published by . This book was released on 1865 with total page 380 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.
Book Synopsis Wired for Love by : Stan Tatkin
Download or read book Wired for Love written by Stan Tatkin and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2024-06-01 with total page 332 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.
Couples—discover how to navigate conflict and foster a more loving, trusting, satisfying relationship with this guide by two seasoned experts. What holds a couple together? Why are we afraid of intimacy? How can we keep our hearts open to one another in the midst of hurt and resentment? In this provocative book, Don and Martha Rosenthal, acclaimed workshop leaders and founders of The Heartwork Center, help couples move through conflict and difficulty toward the love and trust essential to satisfying relationships. Based on nearly two decades of highly successful couples workshops, as well as the Rosenthals’ own 35 years as committed partners, this book is a rare combination of timeless wisdom and practical guidance. Written in clear, accessible language, it offers workable strategies for listening to your partner with an open heart; asking for change; giving and receiving; dealing with anger; and releasing one’s own feelings of guilt, fear, and defensiveness. Yet it does all this with a spiritual depth that is both rare and compelling. By embracing as material the full range of our feelings, the messiness of our imperfections, it speaks compassionately to the human condition we all share. Learning to Love is a spiritual guide to relationship that truly works. Its unique strength lies in showing partners how to use their inevitable conflicts as the means to a deeper intimacy. And its fruits, to those willing to cultivate them, are the tools and resources that can make the sharing of unconditional love a daily reality. Praise for Learning to Love “[A] deeply insightful and inspiring guide to love. Highly recommended.” —Marianne Williamson
Book Synopsis Learning to Love by : Don Rosenthal
Download or read book Learning to Love written by Don Rosenthal and published by Union Square + ORM. This book was released on 2009-09-18 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Couples—discover how to navigate conflict and foster a more loving, trusting, satisfying relationship with this guide by two seasoned experts. What holds a couple together? Why are we afraid of intimacy? How can we keep our hearts open to one another in the midst of hurt and resentment? In this provocative book, Don and Martha Rosenthal, acclaimed workshop leaders and founders of The Heartwork Center, help couples move through conflict and difficulty toward the love and trust essential to satisfying relationships. Based on nearly two decades of highly successful couples workshops, as well as the Rosenthals’ own 35 years as committed partners, this book is a rare combination of timeless wisdom and practical guidance. Written in clear, accessible language, it offers workable strategies for listening to your partner with an open heart; asking for change; giving and receiving; dealing with anger; and releasing one’s own feelings of guilt, fear, and defensiveness. Yet it does all this with a spiritual depth that is both rare and compelling. By embracing as material the full range of our feelings, the messiness of our imperfections, it speaks compassionately to the human condition we all share. Learning to Love is a spiritual guide to relationship that truly works. Its unique strength lies in showing partners how to use their inevitable conflicts as the means to a deeper intimacy. And its fruits, to those willing to cultivate them, are the tools and resources that can make the sharing of unconditional love a daily reality. Praise for Learning to Love “[A] deeply insightful and inspiring guide to love. Highly recommended.” —Marianne Williamson
Some difficult people aren’t just hard to deal with—they’re dangerous. Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems? When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders—borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic—they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they’re hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to: - Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself. - Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life. - Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs. Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
Book Synopsis 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life by : Bill Eddy
Download or read book 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life written by Bill Eddy and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2018-02-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some difficult people aren’t just hard to deal with—they’re dangerous. Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems? When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders—borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic—they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they’re hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to: - Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself. - Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life. - Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs. Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
In Love and Conflict, Joseph L. Allen offers an understanding of Christian ethics that centers around the idea of covenant. First, Allen interprets human relationships as covenantal; and second, he proposes covenant love, patterned after God's steadfast love, as the basic moral standard. Love and Conflict proposes covenant love as the central theme in Christian ethics and argues that the reality of conflict is a significant factor in ethical dilemmas--a factor often overlooked in proposed standards of conduct. In attempting to identify priorities among various claims, Allen adds an important feature to Love and Conflict by distinguishing four types of moral conflict. He also discusseds the interrelation of love and conflict in marriage, political community, and church. Originally published in 1984 by Abingdon Press.
Book Synopsis Love and Conflict by : Joseph L. Allen
Download or read book Love and Conflict written by Joseph L. Allen and published by . This book was released on 1995 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Love and Conflict, Joseph L. Allen offers an understanding of Christian ethics that centers around the idea of covenant. First, Allen interprets human relationships as covenantal; and second, he proposes covenant love, patterned after God's steadfast love, as the basic moral standard. Love and Conflict proposes covenant love as the central theme in Christian ethics and argues that the reality of conflict is a significant factor in ethical dilemmas--a factor often overlooked in proposed standards of conduct. In attempting to identify priorities among various claims, Allen adds an important feature to Love and Conflict by distinguishing four types of moral conflict. He also discusseds the interrelation of love and conflict in marriage, political community, and church. Originally published in 1984 by Abingdon Press.
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
Book Synopsis The High-Conflict Couple by : Alan Fruzzetti
Download or read book The High-Conflict Couple written by Alan Fruzzetti and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2006-12-03 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
Relationship Conflict is an excellent contribution in the tradition of Sage′s series on close relationships. Like the other books in this series, Relationship Conflict provides a concise and compelling synthesis of research and thinking on a particular aspect of intimate relationships. In this case, Daniel J. Canary, William R. Cupach, and Susan J. Messman provide an accounting of conflict of text. As such, this volume constitutes the perfect companion text to undergraduate courses on interpersonal conflict. The clarification of definitions of conflict and approaches to studying conflict in chapter one is a particularly useful framework for organizing the wealth of research on relationship conflict. Similarly, the review of methods for studying conflict in chapter two is a concise assessment of the pros and cons of different methodologies. The remaining chapters nicely synthesize research illuminating conflict in parent-child, friendship, dating, and marital relationship contexts. The consistent limitation in traditional textbooks for the undergraduate course in interpersonal conflict is a failure to include a review of research on conflict in different relationship contexts; Relationship Conflict fills that gap and quite satisfactorily. --Denise H. Cloven in Personal Relationship Issues "The theories, research, analysis, and conclusions will interest a wide range of readers in communication, family studies, psychology, and sociology. Graduate through professional." --Choice "This is an excellent book which should be read by all those in the business of helping couples in their relationships. I can also see a clear role for parts of this book... as providing the basic reading for training seminars." --Padmal de Silva in Sexual and Marital Therapy "My favorite features of the book are the inclusion of different types of relationships and a developmental perspective on relationship conflict. . . . Relationship Conflict provides an easily readable overview for those newly interested in interpersonal conflict and for those working on conflict in formal or business relationships." --Renate Klein in Journal of Marriage and the Family Conflict is a natural, even inevitable, aspect of most ongoing close relationships--a given. What distinguishes most successful relationships from unsuccessful ones is not the absence of conflict, but how conflict is managed. Relationship Conflict skillfully portrays the different types of conflict that we encounter in our most significant personal relationships: parent-child, friendship, and romantic relationships. The authors capture the essence of current research and theory to shed light on conflict′s role in human interaction. Drawing from the findings of multiple disciplines, this volume takes a developmental look at childhood friendships through dating to married relationships. The result is a richer understanding of interpersonal involvement that is accessible to close relationship researchers and professionals and students in many service-based fields. Relationship Conflict provides up-to-date information on interpersonal conflict pertinent to many different disciplines: researchers as well as advanced undergraduate and graduate students in communication, family studies and human development, and sociology and professionals in psychology, social work, and nursing.
Book Synopsis Relationship Conflict by : Daniel J. Canary
Download or read book Relationship Conflict written by Daniel J. Canary and published by SAGE Publications. This book was released on 1995-08-23 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Relationship Conflict is an excellent contribution in the tradition of Sage′s series on close relationships. Like the other books in this series, Relationship Conflict provides a concise and compelling synthesis of research and thinking on a particular aspect of intimate relationships. In this case, Daniel J. Canary, William R. Cupach, and Susan J. Messman provide an accounting of conflict of text. As such, this volume constitutes the perfect companion text to undergraduate courses on interpersonal conflict. The clarification of definitions of conflict and approaches to studying conflict in chapter one is a particularly useful framework for organizing the wealth of research on relationship conflict. Similarly, the review of methods for studying conflict in chapter two is a concise assessment of the pros and cons of different methodologies. The remaining chapters nicely synthesize research illuminating conflict in parent-child, friendship, dating, and marital relationship contexts. The consistent limitation in traditional textbooks for the undergraduate course in interpersonal conflict is a failure to include a review of research on conflict in different relationship contexts; Relationship Conflict fills that gap and quite satisfactorily. --Denise H. Cloven in Personal Relationship Issues "The theories, research, analysis, and conclusions will interest a wide range of readers in communication, family studies, psychology, and sociology. Graduate through professional." --Choice "This is an excellent book which should be read by all those in the business of helping couples in their relationships. I can also see a clear role for parts of this book... as providing the basic reading for training seminars." --Padmal de Silva in Sexual and Marital Therapy "My favorite features of the book are the inclusion of different types of relationships and a developmental perspective on relationship conflict. . . . Relationship Conflict provides an easily readable overview for those newly interested in interpersonal conflict and for those working on conflict in formal or business relationships." --Renate Klein in Journal of Marriage and the Family Conflict is a natural, even inevitable, aspect of most ongoing close relationships--a given. What distinguishes most successful relationships from unsuccessful ones is not the absence of conflict, but how conflict is managed. Relationship Conflict skillfully portrays the different types of conflict that we encounter in our most significant personal relationships: parent-child, friendship, and romantic relationships. The authors capture the essence of current research and theory to shed light on conflict′s role in human interaction. Drawing from the findings of multiple disciplines, this volume takes a developmental look at childhood friendships through dating to married relationships. The result is a richer understanding of interpersonal involvement that is accessible to close relationship researchers and professionals and students in many service-based fields. Relationship Conflict provides up-to-date information on interpersonal conflict pertinent to many different disciplines: researchers as well as advanced undergraduate and graduate students in communication, family studies and human development, and sociology and professionals in psychology, social work, and nursing.
Conflict is a natural, even inevitable, aspect of most ongoing close relationships - a given. What distinguishes most successful relationships from unsuccessful ones is not the absence of conflict, but how conflict is managed. Relationship Conflict skillfully portrays the different types of conflict that we encounter in our most significant personal relationships: parent-child, friendship, and romantic relationships. The authors capture the essence of current research and theory to shed light on conflict's role in human interaction. Drawing from the findings of multiple disciplines, this volume takes a developmental development look at childhood friendships through to dating and married relationships. The results result is a richer understanding of interpersonal involvement accessible to close relationship researchers and professionals and students in many service-based fields.
Book Synopsis Relationship Conflict by : Daniel J. Canary
Download or read book Relationship Conflict written by Daniel J. Canary and published by SAGE. This book was released on 1995-08-23 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Conflict is a natural, even inevitable, aspect of most ongoing close relationships - a given. What distinguishes most successful relationships from unsuccessful ones is not the absence of conflict, but how conflict is managed. Relationship Conflict skillfully portrays the different types of conflict that we encounter in our most significant personal relationships: parent-child, friendship, and romantic relationships. The authors capture the essence of current research and theory to shed light on conflict's role in human interaction. Drawing from the findings of multiple disciplines, this volume takes a developmental development look at childhood friendships through to dating and married relationships. The results result is a richer understanding of interpersonal involvement accessible to close relationship researchers and professionals and students in many service-based fields.
