The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2011-12-22

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781468124514

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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Born Again Christian, Italian, Irish, Born Again Christian, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Born Again Christian, Born Again Christian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Born Again Christian jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Born Again Christian joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Born Again Christian jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Born Again Christians wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Born Again Christian and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Born Again Christian brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Born Again Christian who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Born Again Christians laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.


Book Synopsis The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes by : Mark Geoffrey Young

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2011-12-22 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Born Again Christian, Italian, Irish, Born Again Christian, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Born Again Christian, Born Again Christian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Born Again Christian jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Born Again Christian Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Born Again Christian joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Born Again Christian jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Born Again Christians wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Born Again Christian and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Born Again Christian brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Born Again Christian who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Born Again Christians laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

The Preacher Joke Book

The Preacher Joke Book

Author: Loyal Jones

Publisher: august house

Published: 1989

Total Pages: 116

ISBN-13: 9780874830873

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A surprisingly reverent collection of religious humor clean enough to be used in the pulpit. St. Peter jokes, mock sermons, church bulletin misprints and age-old denominational rivalries are all here. Illustrated.


Book Synopsis The Preacher Joke Book by : Loyal Jones

Download or read book The Preacher Joke Book written by Loyal Jones and published by august house. This book was released on 1989 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A surprisingly reverent collection of religious humor clean enough to be used in the pulpit. St. Peter jokes, mock sermons, church bulletin misprints and age-old denominational rivalries are all here. Illustrated.

The Book of Church Jokes

The Book of Church Jokes

Author: Hugh Morrison

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2015-01-18

Total Pages: 44

ISBN-13: 9781507620632

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Why are Anglicans such bad chess players? Because they don't know the difference between a Bishop and a Queen. Did you hear about the new liberal branch of the Church of England? It has six commandments and four suggestions. This book is packed with (mostly) clean, good-natured jokes, riddles and funny stories old and new about clergy, churches and Christianity. Get into the humour habit and prepare yourself for the 'laughter-life'! Unlike most church joke books, it is from a British rather than American perspective, but it will appeal to anybody looking for jokes for sermons, parish magazines etc or who would just like a good laugh at church life.


Book Synopsis The Book of Church Jokes by : Hugh Morrison

Download or read book The Book of Church Jokes written by Hugh Morrison and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2015-01-18 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why are Anglicans such bad chess players? Because they don't know the difference between a Bishop and a Queen. Did you hear about the new liberal branch of the Church of England? It has six commandments and four suggestions. This book is packed with (mostly) clean, good-natured jokes, riddles and funny stories old and new about clergy, churches and Christianity. Get into the humour habit and prepare yourself for the 'laughter-life'! Unlike most church joke books, it is from a British rather than American perspective, but it will appeal to anybody looking for jokes for sermons, parish magazines etc or who would just like a good laugh at church life.

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians

Author: Mark Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2013-05-07

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781484825761

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The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation For Born Again Christians If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Born Again Christian knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Born Again Christian, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Born Again Christians. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***


Book Synopsis The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians by : Mark Young

Download or read book The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians written by Mark Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation For Born Again Christians If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Born Again Christians appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Born Again Christian knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Born Again Christian, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Born Again Christians. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

Author: Sarah J. Robinson

Publisher: WaterBrook

Published: 2021-05-11

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 0593193539

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A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.


Book Synopsis I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die by : Sarah J. Robinson

Download or read book I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die written by Sarah J. Robinson and published by WaterBrook. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Growing Up Born Again, Or, A Whimsical Look at the Blessings and Tribulations of Growing Up Born Again

Growing Up Born Again, Or, A Whimsical Look at the Blessings and Tribulations of Growing Up Born Again

Author: Patricia Klein

Publisher: Fleming H. Revell Company

Published: 1987

Total Pages: 164

ISBN-13: 9780800752590

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Book Synopsis Growing Up Born Again, Or, A Whimsical Look at the Blessings and Tribulations of Growing Up Born Again by : Patricia Klein

Download or read book Growing Up Born Again, Or, A Whimsical Look at the Blessings and Tribulations of Growing Up Born Again written by Patricia Klein and published by Fleming H. Revell Company. This book was released on 1987 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

God Has a Name

God Has a Name

Author: John Mark Comer

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 2017-03-28

Total Pages: 286

ISBN-13: 0310344247

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God Has a Name is a simple yet profound guide to understanding God in a new light--focusing on what God says about himself. This one shift has the potential to radically alter how you relate to God, not as a doctrine, but as a relational being who responds to you in an elastic, back-and-forth way. In God Has a Name, John Mark Comer takes you line by line through Exodus 34:6-8--Yahweh's self-revelation on Mount Sinai, one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. Along the way, Comer addresses some of the most profound questions he came across as he studied these noted lines in Exodus, including: Why do we feel this gap between us and God? Could it be that a lot of what we think about God is wrong? Not all wrong, but wrong enough to mess up how we relate to him? What if our "God" is really a projection of our own identity, ideas, and desires? What if the real God is different, but far better than we could ever imagine? No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, the act of learning who God is just might surprise you--and change everything.


Book Synopsis God Has a Name by : John Mark Comer

Download or read book God Has a Name written by John Mark Comer and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2017-03-28 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: God Has a Name is a simple yet profound guide to understanding God in a new light--focusing on what God says about himself. This one shift has the potential to radically alter how you relate to God, not as a doctrine, but as a relational being who responds to you in an elastic, back-and-forth way. In God Has a Name, John Mark Comer takes you line by line through Exodus 34:6-8--Yahweh's self-revelation on Mount Sinai, one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. Along the way, Comer addresses some of the most profound questions he came across as he studied these noted lines in Exodus, including: Why do we feel this gap between us and God? Could it be that a lot of what we think about God is wrong? Not all wrong, but wrong enough to mess up how we relate to him? What if our "God" is really a projection of our own identity, ideas, and desires? What if the real God is different, but far better than we could ever imagine? No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, the act of learning who God is just might surprise you--and change everything.

Is Jesus Human and Not Divine?

Is Jesus Human and Not Divine?

Author: Dale Tuggy

Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers

Published: 2023-11-28

Total Pages: 176

ISBN-13: 166678379X

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Book Synopsis Is Jesus Human and Not Divine? by : Dale Tuggy

Download or read book Is Jesus Human and Not Divine? written by Dale Tuggy and published by Wipf and Stock Publishers. This book was released on 2023-11-28 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

The Late War Between the United States and Great Britain

The Late War Between the United States and Great Britain

Author: Gilbert J. Hunt

Publisher: Good Press

Published: 2021-04-11

Total Pages: 116

ISBN-13:

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This is a famous educational text by Gilbert J. Hunt presenting an account of the War of 1812 in the style of the King James Bible. It starts with President James Madison and the congressional declaration of war and then describes the Burning of Washington, the Battle of New Orleans, and the Treaty of Ghent.


Book Synopsis The Late War Between the United States and Great Britain by : Gilbert J. Hunt

Download or read book The Late War Between the United States and Great Britain written by Gilbert J. Hunt and published by Good Press. This book was released on 2021-04-11 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a famous educational text by Gilbert J. Hunt presenting an account of the War of 1812 in the style of the King James Bible. It starts with President James Madison and the congressional declaration of war and then describes the Burning of Washington, the Battle of New Orleans, and the Treaty of Ghent.

Lamb

Lamb

Author: Christopher Moore

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2009-10-13

Total Pages: 468

ISBN-13: 0061798231

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Everyone knows about the immaculate conception and the crucifixion. But what happened to Jesus between the manger and the Sermon on the Mount? In this hilarious and bold novel, the acclaimed Christopher Moore shares the greatest story never told: the life of Christ as seen by his boyhood pal, Biff. Just what was Jesus doing during the many years that have gone unrecorded in the Bible? Biff was there at his side, and now after two thousand years, he shares those good, bad, ugly, and miraculous times. Screamingly funny, audaciously fresh, Lamb rivals the best of Tom Robbins and Carl Hiaasen, and is sure to please this gifted writer’s fans and win him legions more.


Book Synopsis Lamb by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book Lamb written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 468 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone knows about the immaculate conception and the crucifixion. But what happened to Jesus between the manger and the Sermon on the Mount? In this hilarious and bold novel, the acclaimed Christopher Moore shares the greatest story never told: the life of Christ as seen by his boyhood pal, Biff. Just what was Jesus doing during the many years that have gone unrecorded in the Bible? Biff was there at his side, and now after two thousand years, he shares those good, bad, ugly, and miraculous times. Screamingly funny, audaciously fresh, Lamb rivals the best of Tom Robbins and Carl Hiaasen, and is sure to please this gifted writer’s fans and win him legions more.