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A collection of twisted Bible tales from the warped mind of J. R. Eldridge, taking the reader on a journey from the creation of the universe to the arrival of the Israelites in Egypt in this blasphemously funny collection. A lonely deity creates the universe in his mother's basement and makes a little clay man who falls in love with his own rib. After the humans engage in some freaky angel sex, God decides to flood the entire world, saving only a drunkard called Noah and his family. Once the humans have repopulated the Earth, God chooses one man called Abram, drags him from his home in the middle of the night, changes his name, and then tells him to kill his son, forming an everlasting covenant with him and his descendants. Later, Jacob steals his brother's birthmark, boinks his cousins, and comes up with an innovative way to breed sheep. He fathers a dozen kids including Joseph, whose brothers get tired of his dreams of grandeur and sell him to some shapeshifting Ishmaelites who take him to Egypt.
Book Synopsis The MisreadBible: Genesis by : J. R. Eldridge
Download or read book The MisreadBible: Genesis written by J. R. Eldridge and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2019-04-03 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of twisted Bible tales from the warped mind of J. R. Eldridge, taking the reader on a journey from the creation of the universe to the arrival of the Israelites in Egypt in this blasphemously funny collection. A lonely deity creates the universe in his mother's basement and makes a little clay man who falls in love with his own rib. After the humans engage in some freaky angel sex, God decides to flood the entire world, saving only a drunkard called Noah and his family. Once the humans have repopulated the Earth, God chooses one man called Abram, drags him from his home in the middle of the night, changes his name, and then tells him to kill his son, forming an everlasting covenant with him and his descendants. Later, Jacob steals his brother's birthmark, boinks his cousins, and comes up with an innovative way to breed sheep. He fathers a dozen kids including Joseph, whose brothers get tired of his dreams of grandeur and sell him to some shapeshifting Ishmaelites who take him to Egypt.
Narratives in Genesis 1-11 have been misunderstood in many ways, but they especially have been used to oppress women and African Americans and to present a God of wrath and judgment. This commentary seeks to explain the real message behind those narratives, which is one that speaks of human dignity and equality, that affirms monotheism, that criticizes kings and tyrants, that declares our oneness with the animal realm and nature, and that proclaims a powerful message of divine grace with a deity personally involved in the human world. Humor may also be found in some of these stories. These biblical passages can be best explicated by close reading as well as by knowledge of comparable stories from the ancient Near East and from the classical world, and finally by knowledge of the concomitant social and political values connected with those other myths and narratives.
Book Synopsis Misunderstood Stories by : Robert Karl Gnuse
Download or read book Misunderstood Stories written by Robert Karl Gnuse and published by Wipf and Stock Publishers. This book was released on 2014-03-20 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Narratives in Genesis 1-11 have been misunderstood in many ways, but they especially have been used to oppress women and African Americans and to present a God of wrath and judgment. This commentary seeks to explain the real message behind those narratives, which is one that speaks of human dignity and equality, that affirms monotheism, that criticizes kings and tyrants, that declares our oneness with the animal realm and nature, and that proclaims a powerful message of divine grace with a deity personally involved in the human world. Humor may also be found in some of these stories. These biblical passages can be best explicated by close reading as well as by knowledge of comparable stories from the ancient Near East and from the classical world, and finally by knowledge of the concomitant social and political values connected with those other myths and narratives.
For years, the evangelical church and its members have debated whether the Bible should be interpreted literally or symbolically in regards to the age of the earth. In their groundbreaking new book, In the Beginning . . . We Misunderstood, authors Johnny V. Miller and John M. Soden say that all these arguments have missed the point. Rather, what Christians really need to know is how to interpret the Bible in its original context. Exposing the fallacies of trying to make the biblical text fit a specific scientific presupposition, Miller and Soden offer a new approach to interpreting Genesis 1 that explores the creation account based on how the original audience would have understood its teaching. First, the authors present a clear explanation of the past and present issues in interpreting the first chapter of the Bible. Second, Miller and Soden break down the creation account according to its historical and cultural context by comparing and distinguishing both the Egyptian and Mesopotamian settings. Finally, they explore common objections to help readers understand the significance that the creation account has for theology today. Christians need not look any further than Genesis 1 to find clues to its meaning. Both irenic and bathed in Scripture, In the Beginning . . . We Misunderstood will equip every believer to navigate the creation wars, armed with biblically sound explanations.
Book Synopsis In the Beginning... We Misunderstood by : Johnny V. Miller
Download or read book In the Beginning... We Misunderstood written by Johnny V. Miller and published by Kregel Publications. This book was released on 2012 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For years, the evangelical church and its members have debated whether the Bible should be interpreted literally or symbolically in regards to the age of the earth. In their groundbreaking new book, In the Beginning . . . We Misunderstood, authors Johnny V. Miller and John M. Soden say that all these arguments have missed the point. Rather, what Christians really need to know is how to interpret the Bible in its original context. Exposing the fallacies of trying to make the biblical text fit a specific scientific presupposition, Miller and Soden offer a new approach to interpreting Genesis 1 that explores the creation account based on how the original audience would have understood its teaching. First, the authors present a clear explanation of the past and present issues in interpreting the first chapter of the Bible. Second, Miller and Soden break down the creation account according to its historical and cultural context by comparing and distinguishing both the Egyptian and Mesopotamian settings. Finally, they explore common objections to help readers understand the significance that the creation account has for theology today. Christians need not look any further than Genesis 1 to find clues to its meaning. Both irenic and bathed in Scripture, In the Beginning . . . We Misunderstood will equip every believer to navigate the creation wars, armed with biblically sound explanations.
For centuries, the Garden of Eden story has been a cornerstone for the Christian doctrine of the Fall and original sin. In recent years, many scholars have disputed this understanding of Genesis 3 because it has no words for sin, transgression, disobedience, or punishment. Instead, it is about how the human condition came about. Yet the picture is not so simple. The Genesis of Good and Evil examines how the idea of the Fall developed in Jewish tradition on the eve of Christianity. In the end, the Garden of Eden is a rich study of humans in relation to God that leaves open many questions. One such question is, Does Genesis 3, 4, and 6, taken together, support the Christian doctrine of original sin? Smiths well-informed, close reading of these chapters concludes that it does. In this book, he addresses the many mysterious matters of the Garden story and invites readers to explore questions of their own.
Book Synopsis The Genesis of Good and Evil by : Mark S. Smith
Download or read book The Genesis of Good and Evil written by Mark S. Smith and published by Westminster John Knox Press. This book was released on 2019-01-01 with total page 201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For centuries, the Garden of Eden story has been a cornerstone for the Christian doctrine of the Fall and original sin. In recent years, many scholars have disputed this understanding of Genesis 3 because it has no words for sin, transgression, disobedience, or punishment. Instead, it is about how the human condition came about. Yet the picture is not so simple. The Genesis of Good and Evil examines how the idea of the Fall developed in Jewish tradition on the eve of Christianity. In the end, the Garden of Eden is a rich study of humans in relation to God that leaves open many questions. One such question is, Does Genesis 3, 4, and 6, taken together, support the Christian doctrine of original sin? Smiths well-informed, close reading of these chapters concludes that it does. In this book, he addresses the many mysterious matters of the Garden story and invites readers to explore questions of their own.
Given the fever-pitched controversies about evolution, Adam and Eve, and scientific evidence for the Flood, the average person might feel intimidated by the book of Genesis. But behind the heady debates is a terrific story-one that anyone can understand, and one that has gripped people for ages. If you are not a Bible scholar but want to be able to read Genesis and understand its big picture, this brief, witty book is the guide you've been waiting for. Clear summaries and thought-provoking questions provide direction for personal reflection and group discussion. Peter Enns, a Biblical Studies professor, and Jared Byas, an Old Testament professor, summarize the book's key themes and help us see Genesis as an ancient story, one with continued relevance for human experience today. Genesis for Normal People illuminates the characters that fill the book of Genesis, causing us to resonate with their choices and struggles even as we marvel at their distant world. And that's what you'll find here-not scientific proof texts or simple moral tales, but a distant world made available, and a story that is often strange, sometimes dangerous, and always filled with rich possibilities.WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT GENESIS FOR NORMAL PEOPLE:"This book is a welcome antidote to the mystification about the book of Genesis that goes around. It is accessible for readers who want to take the plunge into this old text. It is gentle in leading readers to a critical sense of the text in response to a "late" trauma in Israel. It is imaginative in its articulation of a book that might otherwise be off-putting. The convergence of accessibility, gentleness, and imagination make this a very fine read."- Walter Brueggemann, Professor Emeritus, Columbia Theological Seminary"Genesis for Normal People is the perfect starting point for Christians who want to read the book of Genesis more faithfully and honestly. Enns and Byas break down the history, genre, culture, and context of this fascinating book of the Bible, so that "normal people"--you know, those who can't read ancient Hebrew--can get a better sense of its purpose, meaning and relevance. The authors manage to simplify without dumbing down, challenge without confusing, and dig for deep truth without compromising their intellectual integrity. A must-read for anyone who care enough about the Bible to want to read and understand it on its own terms."- Rachel Held Evans, author of A Year of Biblical Womanhood"The stories in the book of Genesis are among the most well known in the Bible--so much so that it's easy to lose sight of the fact that Genesis is an ancient document from a cultural setting very different from our own. Enns and Byas have provided a highly readable volume that reminds readers of its reality while explaining the meaning and significance of Genesis in light of its ancient context. An ideal book for individual and study groups interested in understanding Genesis on its own terms."- John R. Franke, General Coordinator for The Gospel and Our Culture Network"Evangelical Old Testament scholarship has come of age and is now coming out from behind the shadows of suppression and secrecy. No one represents this fresh coming of age more than Peter Enns, who, with co-author Jared Byas, makes available to any Bible reader a fresh engagement with Genesis--readable, responsible, and recognizably fresh."- Scot McKnight, Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary
Book Synopsis Genesis for Normal People by : Jared Byas
Download or read book Genesis for Normal People written by Jared Byas and published by . This book was released on 2019-09-18 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Given the fever-pitched controversies about evolution, Adam and Eve, and scientific evidence for the Flood, the average person might feel intimidated by the book of Genesis. But behind the heady debates is a terrific story-one that anyone can understand, and one that has gripped people for ages. If you are not a Bible scholar but want to be able to read Genesis and understand its big picture, this brief, witty book is the guide you've been waiting for. Clear summaries and thought-provoking questions provide direction for personal reflection and group discussion. Peter Enns, a Biblical Studies professor, and Jared Byas, an Old Testament professor, summarize the book's key themes and help us see Genesis as an ancient story, one with continued relevance for human experience today. Genesis for Normal People illuminates the characters that fill the book of Genesis, causing us to resonate with their choices and struggles even as we marvel at their distant world. And that's what you'll find here-not scientific proof texts or simple moral tales, but a distant world made available, and a story that is often strange, sometimes dangerous, and always filled with rich possibilities.WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT GENESIS FOR NORMAL PEOPLE:"This book is a welcome antidote to the mystification about the book of Genesis that goes around. It is accessible for readers who want to take the plunge into this old text. It is gentle in leading readers to a critical sense of the text in response to a "late" trauma in Israel. It is imaginative in its articulation of a book that might otherwise be off-putting. The convergence of accessibility, gentleness, and imagination make this a very fine read."- Walter Brueggemann, Professor Emeritus, Columbia Theological Seminary"Genesis for Normal People is the perfect starting point for Christians who want to read the book of Genesis more faithfully and honestly. Enns and Byas break down the history, genre, culture, and context of this fascinating book of the Bible, so that "normal people"--you know, those who can't read ancient Hebrew--can get a better sense of its purpose, meaning and relevance. The authors manage to simplify without dumbing down, challenge without confusing, and dig for deep truth without compromising their intellectual integrity. A must-read for anyone who care enough about the Bible to want to read and understand it on its own terms."- Rachel Held Evans, author of A Year of Biblical Womanhood"The stories in the book of Genesis are among the most well known in the Bible--so much so that it's easy to lose sight of the fact that Genesis is an ancient document from a cultural setting very different from our own. Enns and Byas have provided a highly readable volume that reminds readers of its reality while explaining the meaning and significance of Genesis in light of its ancient context. An ideal book for individual and study groups interested in understanding Genesis on its own terms."- John R. Franke, General Coordinator for The Gospel and Our Culture Network"Evangelical Old Testament scholarship has come of age and is now coming out from behind the shadows of suppression and secrecy. No one represents this fresh coming of age more than Peter Enns, who, with co-author Jared Byas, makes available to any Bible reader a fresh engagement with Genesis--readable, responsible, and recognizably fresh."- Scot McKnight, Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary
Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?
Book Synopsis The MisreadBible: Book of Moses by : J. R. Eldridge
Download or read book The MisreadBible: Book of Moses written by J. R. Eldridge and published by J. R. Eldridge. This book was released on 2021-01-06 with total page 351 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?
Given the fever-pitched controversies about evolution, Adam and Eve, and scientific evidence for the Flood, the average person might feel intimidated by the book of Genesis. But behind the heady debates is a terrific story-one that anyone can understand, and one that has gripped people for ages. If you are not a Bible scholar but want to be able to read Genesis and understand its big picture, this brief, witty book is the guide you've been waiting for. Clear summaries and thought-provoking questions provide direction for personal reflection and group discussion. Peter Enns, a Biblical Studies professor, and Jared Byas, an Old Testament professor, summarize the book's key themes and help us see Genesis as an ancient story, one with continued relevance for human experience today. Genesis for Normal People illuminates the characters that fill the book of Genesis, causing us to resonate with their choices and struggles even as we marvel at their distant world. And that's what you'll find here-not scientific proof texts or simple moral tales, but a distant world made available, and a story that is often strange, sometimes dangerous, and always filled with rich possibilities.
Book Synopsis Genesis for Normal People by : Peter Enns
Download or read book Genesis for Normal People written by Peter Enns and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Given the fever-pitched controversies about evolution, Adam and Eve, and scientific evidence for the Flood, the average person might feel intimidated by the book of Genesis. But behind the heady debates is a terrific story-one that anyone can understand, and one that has gripped people for ages. If you are not a Bible scholar but want to be able to read Genesis and understand its big picture, this brief, witty book is the guide you've been waiting for. Clear summaries and thought-provoking questions provide direction for personal reflection and group discussion. Peter Enns, a Biblical Studies professor, and Jared Byas, an Old Testament professor, summarize the book's key themes and help us see Genesis as an ancient story, one with continued relevance for human experience today. Genesis for Normal People illuminates the characters that fill the book of Genesis, causing us to resonate with their choices and struggles even as we marvel at their distant world. And that's what you'll find here-not scientific proof texts or simple moral tales, but a distant world made available, and a story that is often strange, sometimes dangerous, and always filled with rich possibilities.
Book Synopsis The First Book of the Bible, Genesis by : Ernst Jacob
Download or read book The First Book of the Bible, Genesis written by Ernst Jacob and published by KTAV Publishing House, Inc.. This book was released on 2007 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
From Adam and Eve through to the patriarchs, the Bible is telling us who God is, who we are, and how we got into the place we’re in now. But it keeps going, it tells us what God has done and is doing to redeem us. The stories of Genesis come to life when someone explains the significance of all the little details we so often skip over. This is exactly what the best preachers do, but you don’t have to wait until Sunday’s sermon. Encounter the beautiful depth of Genesis through an enlightening verse-by-verse commentary from Howard Vos that’s both straightforward and insightful. You’ll gain: Important historical and cultural background Insightful comments on the stories of Genesis Help with the difficult passages And more! You don’t have to go to seminary to encounter God in exciting, new ways through His Word. Discover how much more enjoyable your personal study will be with understandable, quality Bible commentary for everyday life.
Book Synopsis Genesis- Everyday Bible Commentary by : Howard F. Vos
Download or read book Genesis- Everyday Bible Commentary written by Howard F. Vos and published by Moody Publishers. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Adam and Eve through to the patriarchs, the Bible is telling us who God is, who we are, and how we got into the place we’re in now. But it keeps going, it tells us what God has done and is doing to redeem us. The stories of Genesis come to life when someone explains the significance of all the little details we so often skip over. This is exactly what the best preachers do, but you don’t have to wait until Sunday’s sermon. Encounter the beautiful depth of Genesis through an enlightening verse-by-verse commentary from Howard Vos that’s both straightforward and insightful. You’ll gain: Important historical and cultural background Insightful comments on the stories of Genesis Help with the difficult passages And more! You don’t have to go to seminary to encounter God in exciting, new ways through His Word. Discover how much more enjoyable your personal study will be with understandable, quality Bible commentary for everyday life.
The opening scenes in the story of redemption are essential for understanding what the rest of the Bible has to say about God, the world, and you. As you uncover the mysteries of the beginning of time, you'll discover how the sovereign God cares for the world, blesses those who walk in faith, and keeps his covenant promises. To help you personally interact with the vital truths of Genesis, trusted Bible teacher Ron Rhodes provides... Scripture Readings and Insights—short passages of Genesis and easy-to-understand notes on each verse Major Themes—brief summaries of the most important ideas Cross-References—several other passages you can look up on relevant topics Life Lessons—practical applications to everyday life Questions for Reflection and Discussion—thought-provoking conversation starters for group discussions or personal journaling Use this 40-day journey alone or with friends to fortify the foundations of your faith.
Book Synopsis 40 Days Through Genesis by : Ron Rhodes
Download or read book 40 Days Through Genesis written by Ron Rhodes and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2015-02-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The opening scenes in the story of redemption are essential for understanding what the rest of the Bible has to say about God, the world, and you. As you uncover the mysteries of the beginning of time, you'll discover how the sovereign God cares for the world, blesses those who walk in faith, and keeps his covenant promises. To help you personally interact with the vital truths of Genesis, trusted Bible teacher Ron Rhodes provides... Scripture Readings and Insights—short passages of Genesis and easy-to-understand notes on each verse Major Themes—brief summaries of the most important ideas Cross-References—several other passages you can look up on relevant topics Life Lessons—practical applications to everyday life Questions for Reflection and Discussion—thought-provoking conversation starters for group discussions or personal journaling Use this 40-day journey alone or with friends to fortify the foundations of your faith.
