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The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own!

Author: Jean Teasdale

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Published: 2010-10-12

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1429951826

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A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

Book Synopsis The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own! by : Jean Teasdale

Download or read book The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own! written by Jean Teasdale and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2010-10-12 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 322

ISBN-13: 030733984X

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Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America's Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country's history ripe for further examination by America's Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world's most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

Book Synopsis The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity by : Scott Dikkers

Download or read book The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity written by Scott Dikkers and published by Random House Digital, Inc.. This book was released on 2006 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America's Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country's history ripe for further examination by America's Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world's most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

Midnight Sun

Author: Stephenie Meyer

Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Published: 2020-08-04

Total Pages: 727

ISBN-13: 0316592250

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#1 bestselling author Stephenie Meyer makes a triumphant return to the world of Twilight with this highly anticipated companion: the iconic love story of Bella and Edward told from the vampire's point of view. When Edward Cullen and Bella Swan met in Twilight, an iconic love story was born. But until now, fans have heard only Bella's side of the story. At last, readers can experience Edward's version in the long-awaited companion novel, Midnight Sun. This unforgettable tale as told through Edward's eyes takes on a new and decidedly dark twist. Meeting Bella is both the most unnerving and intriguing event he has experienced in all his years as a vampire. As we learn more fascinating details about Edward's past and the complexity of his inner thoughts, we understand why this is the defining struggle of his life. How can he justify following his heart if it means leading Bella into danger? In Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer transports us back to a world that has captivated millions of readers and brings us an epic novel about the profound pleasures and devastating consequences of immortal love. An instant #1 New York Times BestsellerAn instant #1 USA Today BestsellerAn instant #1 Wall Street Journal BestsellerAn instant #1 IndieBound BestsellerApple Audiobook August Must-Listens Pick "People do not want to just read Meyer's books; they want to climb inside them and live there." -- Time "A literary phenomenon." -- New York Times

Book Synopsis Midnight Sun by : Stephenie Meyer

Download or read book Midnight Sun written by Stephenie Meyer and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2020-08-04 with total page 727 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 bestselling author Stephenie Meyer makes a triumphant return to the world of Twilight with this highly anticipated companion: the iconic love story of Bella and Edward told from the vampire's point of view. When Edward Cullen and Bella Swan met in Twilight, an iconic love story was born. But until now, fans have heard only Bella's side of the story. At last, readers can experience Edward's version in the long-awaited companion novel, Midnight Sun. This unforgettable tale as told through Edward's eyes takes on a new and decidedly dark twist. Meeting Bella is both the most unnerving and intriguing event he has experienced in all his years as a vampire. As we learn more fascinating details about Edward's past and the complexity of his inner thoughts, we understand why this is the defining struggle of his life. How can he justify following his heart if it means leading Bella into danger? In Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer transports us back to a world that has captivated millions of readers and brings us an epic novel about the profound pleasures and devastating consequences of immortal love. An instant #1 New York Times BestsellerAn instant #1 USA Today BestsellerAn instant #1 Wall Street Journal BestsellerAn instant #1 IndieBound BestsellerApple Audiobook August Must-Listens Pick "People do not want to just read Meyer's books; they want to climb inside them and live there." -- Time "A literary phenomenon." -- New York Times

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2012-10-23

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 031613323X

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Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

Book Synopsis The Onion Book of Known Knowledge by : The Onion

Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

The Onion Girl

Author: Charles de Lint

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2002-08-03

Total Pages: 512

ISBN-13: 9780765303813

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Charles de Lint's stunning new novel of magic and danger in the modern world.

Book Synopsis The Onion Girl by : Charles de Lint

Download or read book The Onion Girl written by Charles de Lint and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2002-08-03 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Charles de Lint's stunning new novel of magic and danger in the modern world.

The Plot

Author: Jean Hanff Korelitz

Publisher: Celadon Books

Published: 2021-05-11

Total Pages: 273

ISBN-13: 1250790743

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** NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! ** The Tonight Show Summer Reads Winner ** A New York Times Notable Book of 2021 ** "Insanely readable." —Stephen King Hailed as "breathtakingly suspenseful," Jean Hanff Korelitz’s The Plot is a propulsive read about a story too good not to steal, and the writer who steals it. Jacob Finch Bonner was once a promising young novelist with a respectably published first book. Today, he’s teaching in a third-rate MFA program and struggling to maintain what’s left of his self-respect; he hasn’t written—let alone published—anything decent in years. When Evan Parker, his most arrogant student, announces he doesn’t need Jake’s help because the plot of his book in progress is a sure thing, Jake is prepared to dismiss the boast as typical amateur narcissism. But then . . . he hears the plot. Jake returns to the downward trajectory of his own career and braces himself for the supernova publication of Evan Parker’s first novel: but it never comes. When he discovers that his former student has died, presumably without ever completing his book, Jake does what any self-respecting writer would do with a story like that—a story that absolutely needs to be told. In a few short years, all of Evan Parker’s predictions have come true, but Jake is the author enjoying the wave. He is wealthy, famous, praised and read all over the world. But at the height of his glorious new life, an e-mail arrives, the first salvo in a terrifying, anonymous campaign: You are a thief, it says. As Jake struggles to understand his antagonist and hide the truth from his readers and his publishers, he begins to learn more about his late student, and what he discovers both amazes and terrifies him. Who was Evan Parker, and how did he get the idea for his “sure thing” of a novel? What is the real story behind the plot, and who stole it from whom?

Book Synopsis The Plot by : Jean Hanff Korelitz

Download or read book The Plot written by Jean Hanff Korelitz and published by Celadon Books. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ** NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! ** The Tonight Show Summer Reads Winner ** A New York Times Notable Book of 2021 ** "Insanely readable." —Stephen King Hailed as "breathtakingly suspenseful," Jean Hanff Korelitz’s The Plot is a propulsive read about a story too good not to steal, and the writer who steals it. Jacob Finch Bonner was once a promising young novelist with a respectably published first book. Today, he’s teaching in a third-rate MFA program and struggling to maintain what’s left of his self-respect; he hasn’t written—let alone published—anything decent in years. When Evan Parker, his most arrogant student, announces he doesn’t need Jake’s help because the plot of his book in progress is a sure thing, Jake is prepared to dismiss the boast as typical amateur narcissism. But then . . . he hears the plot. Jake returns to the downward trajectory of his own career and braces himself for the supernova publication of Evan Parker’s first novel: but it never comes. When he discovers that his former student has died, presumably without ever completing his book, Jake does what any self-respecting writer would do with a story like that—a story that absolutely needs to be told. In a few short years, all of Evan Parker’s predictions have come true, but Jake is the author enjoying the wave. He is wealthy, famous, praised and read all over the world. But at the height of his glorious new life, an e-mail arrives, the first salvo in a terrifying, anonymous campaign: You are a thief, it says. As Jake struggles to understand his antagonist and hide the truth from his readers and his publishers, he begins to learn more about his late student, and what he discovers both amazes and terrifies him. Who was Evan Parker, and how did he get the idea for his “sure thing” of a novel? What is the real story behind the plot, and who stole it from whom?

Moonlight & Vines

Author: Charles de Lint

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2007-04-01

Total Pages: 385

ISBN-13: 1429911255

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Familiar to Charles de Lint's ever-growing audience as the setting of the novels Memory & Dream, Trader, and Someplace To Be Flying, Newford is the quintessential North American city, tough and streetwise on the surface and rich with hidden magic for those who can see. Now de Lint returns to this extraordinary city for a third volume of short stories set there, including several never before published in book form. Here is enchantment under a streetlamp: the landscape of urban North America as only Charles de Lint can show it. "Blending Lovecraft's imagery, Dunsany's poetry, Carroll's surrealism, and Alice Hoffman's small-town strangeness," wrote Interzone on Dreams Underfoot, de Lint's Newford tales are "a haunting mixture of human warmth and cold inevitability, of lessons learned and prices to be paid." At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Book Synopsis Moonlight & Vines by : Charles de Lint

Download or read book Moonlight & Vines written by Charles de Lint and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Familiar to Charles de Lint's ever-growing audience as the setting of the novels Memory & Dream, Trader, and Someplace To Be Flying, Newford is the quintessential North American city, tough and streetwise on the surface and rich with hidden magic for those who can see. Now de Lint returns to this extraordinary city for a third volume of short stories set there, including several never before published in book form. Here is enchantment under a streetlamp: the landscape of urban North America as only Charles de Lint can show it. "Blending Lovecraft's imagery, Dunsany's poetry, Carroll's surrealism, and Alice Hoffman's small-town strangeness," wrote Interzone on Dreams Underfoot, de Lint's Newford tales are "a haunting mixture of human warmth and cold inevitability, of lessons learned and prices to be paid." At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Atlanta

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 2003-12

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13:

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Atlanta magazine’s editorial mission is to engage our community through provocative writing, authoritative reporting, and superlative design that illuminate the people, the issues, the trends, and the events that define our city. The magazine informs, challenges, and entertains our readers each month while helping them make intelligent choices, not only about what they do and where they go, but what they think about matters of importance to the community and the region. Atlanta magazine’s editorial mission is to engage our community through provocative writing, authoritative reporting, and superlative design that illuminate the people, the issues, the trends, and the events that define our city. The magazine informs, challenges, and entertains our readers each month while helping them make intelligent choices, not only about what they do and where they go, but what they think about matters of importance to the community and the region.

Book Synopsis Atlanta by :

Download or read book Atlanta written by and published by . This book was released on 2003-12 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Atlanta magazine’s editorial mission is to engage our community through provocative writing, authoritative reporting, and superlative design that illuminate the people, the issues, the trends, and the events that define our city. The magazine informs, challenges, and entertains our readers each month while helping them make intelligent choices, not only about what they do and where they go, but what they think about matters of importance to the community and the region. Atlanta magazine’s editorial mission is to engage our community through provocative writing, authoritative reporting, and superlative design that illuminate the people, the issues, the trends, and the events that define our city. The magazine informs, challenges, and entertains our readers each month while helping them make intelligent choices, not only about what they do and where they go, but what they think about matters of importance to the community and the region.

Second Language Learning and Language Teaching

Author: Vivian Cook

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2016-05-05

Total Pages: 393

ISBN-13: 1134683294

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Second Language Learning and Language Teaching provides an introduction to the application of second language acquisition research to language teaching. Assuming no previous background in second language acquisition or language teaching methods, this text starts by introducing readers to the basic issues of second language acquisition research. It then examines how people learn particular aspects of the second language, such as grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation and the writing system, and at the strategies they adopt in their learning and the differences between individuals. Final chapters look at second language learning in a broader context – the goals of language teaching and how teaching methods relate to SLA research. This newly updated fifth edition builds on the comprehensive scope of earlier editions while also addressing more recent developments in the field, particularly multilingual approaches to language teaching.

Book Synopsis Second Language Learning and Language Teaching by : Vivian Cook

Download or read book Second Language Learning and Language Teaching written by Vivian Cook and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2016-05-05 with total page 393 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Second Language Learning and Language Teaching provides an introduction to the application of second language acquisition research to language teaching. Assuming no previous background in second language acquisition or language teaching methods, this text starts by introducing readers to the basic issues of second language acquisition research. It then examines how people learn particular aspects of the second language, such as grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation and the writing system, and at the strategies they adopt in their learning and the differences between individuals. Final chapters look at second language learning in a broader context – the goals of language teaching and how teaching methods relate to SLA research. This newly updated fifth edition builds on the comprehensive scope of earlier editions while also addressing more recent developments in the field, particularly multilingual approaches to language teaching.