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My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.
Book Synopsis Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book written by Tommy Cooper and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-10-09 with total page 405 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.
You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.
Book Synopsis The Tommy Cooper Joke Book by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book The Tommy Cooper Joke Book written by Tommy Cooper and published by Random House. This book was released on 2009 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.
Presents jokes on the subjects that range from 'A for Absent-minded' to 'Z for Zoo'.
Book Synopsis Tommy Cooper's Secret Joke Files by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book Tommy Cooper's Secret Joke Files written by Tommy Cooper and published by Preface Publishing. This book was released on 2011 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presents jokes on the subjects that range from 'A for Absent-minded' to 'Z for Zoo'.
Book Synopsis Tommy Cooper's Just Like That! by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book Tommy Cooper's Just Like That! written by Tommy Cooper and published by . This book was released on 1975-01-01 with total page 175 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
The first-ever joke book from one of the UK's best-loved comedians, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a must for any fan of this perennially popular comedian. Collecting together the highlights of his 26-year career across radio and television, from his early days on Opportunity Knocks to Cissie and Ada. A lover of language, Les was a secret poet and was fond of high culture, often undercutting his own admiration of the art forms for comic effect. The book includes examples of all his most famous sketches, comic come-backs and stand-up routines. From working class roots to a comedian beloved by millions, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a celebration of Les's humour at its very best, compiled from his personal archive by his wife and daughter, it is the must-have for any fan.
Book Synopsis Les Dawson's Joke Book by : Les Dawson
Download or read book Les Dawson's Joke Book written by Les Dawson and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2012-11-03 with total page 119 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first-ever joke book from one of the UK's best-loved comedians, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a must for any fan of this perennially popular comedian. Collecting together the highlights of his 26-year career across radio and television, from his early days on Opportunity Knocks to Cissie and Ada. A lover of language, Les was a secret poet and was fond of high culture, often undercutting his own admiration of the art forms for comic effect. The book includes examples of all his most famous sketches, comic come-backs and stand-up routines. From working class roots to a comedian beloved by millions, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a celebration of Les's humour at its very best, compiled from his personal archive by his wife and daughter, it is the must-have for any fan.
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will.
Book Synopsis The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will.
In the words of Eric Morcambe, 'Tommy Cooper was absolutely fantastic' and, in those of Eric Sykes, 'there is yet to emerge a comedian better.' Just Like That! began life when Cooper was writing an account of his jokes and tricks and it tells the story of his journey to stardom in his own inimitable style. Here is a fitting souvenir of the comedian's comedian in his own words - a memento of the comic genius at his best.
Book Synopsis Just Like That! by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book Just Like That! written by Tommy Cooper and published by Virgin Books Limited. This book was released on 2004 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the words of Eric Morcambe, 'Tommy Cooper was absolutely fantastic' and, in those of Eric Sykes, 'there is yet to emerge a comedian better.' Just Like That! began life when Cooper was writing an account of his jokes and tricks and it tells the story of his journey to stardom in his own inimitable style. Here is a fitting souvenir of the comedian's comedian in his own words - a memento of the comic genius at his best.
The first ever intimate portrait of Britain’s best-loved, but little known, comedy entertainer. Fully authorised, and written by Cooper’s friend and colleague John Fisher.
Book Synopsis Tommy Cooper: Always Leave Them Laughing: The Definitive Biography of a Comedy Legend by : John Fisher
Download or read book Tommy Cooper: Always Leave Them Laughing: The Definitive Biography of a Comedy Legend written by John Fisher and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2009-01-26 with total page 41 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first ever intimate portrait of Britain’s best-loved, but little known, comedy entertainer. Fully authorised, and written by Cooper’s friend and colleague John Fisher.
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Book Synopsis Pundamentalist by : Gary Delaney
Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
If you like a good joke (and we all know you do), then you'll get a kick out of this hilarious collection that pokes fun at all things Saskatchewan. With zingers that will tickle your funny bone, these good-natured jabs are just funny enough that they will leave you rolling in the aisles. The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book will literally make you laugh out loud. Joel Jeffrey believes that if you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?
Book Synopsis The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book by : Joel Jeffrey
Download or read book The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book written by Joel Jeffrey and published by . This book was released on 2020-08-10 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you like a good joke (and we all know you do), then you'll get a kick out of this hilarious collection that pokes fun at all things Saskatchewan. With zingers that will tickle your funny bone, these good-natured jabs are just funny enough that they will leave you rolling in the aisles. The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book will literally make you laugh out loud. Joel Jeffrey believes that if you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?
